The YWCA is doing some great things. If you are like most people, you probably think the YWCA is the YMCA for women. It’s not. You probably think that the YWCA is a Christian organization. It’s not – well not in the United States. The YWCA is a women’s membership movement whose mission is to eliminate racism and empower women. Strengthened by diversity, the YWCA draws together members who strive to create opportunities for women’s growth, leadership and power to attain a common vision: peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all people. Okay – I know that’s marketing talk. But in all seriousness, it’s a wonderful organization. In the name of full disclosure, they are a client of mine. But I am personally excited about where they are going. Keep your eyes open for tv spots on MTV, MTV2 & BET. And if you just can’t wait for next week when they start running, check them out here.

Lately, I’ve done a lot of observing — of very different management styles and very different parenting styles. I’ve seen some correlations that are too frightening to let slide…

1) Some managers give every one around them the same direction – hoping that one comes through.

Some parents shout at their kids with directions and criticisms hoping that they will consider obeying occasionally.

2) Some managers talk about what they plan to do until it’s too late to do it.

Some parents talk about their kids’ issues but never find the energy to deal with them.

3) Some managers think a stern tone will get them respect and the best result.

Some parents actually believe that yelling gets them respect and compliance. (yeah, right)

4) Some managers respect every person they come in contact with on a daily basis (unless proven wrong) and get everything done with a smile and pride of workmanship. And respect in return.

Some parents respect their kids, manage the bad stuff (with a sense of humor) and get the best attitudes to show through.

My oldest son is in 4th grade. His teacher, Mr. Soskil, knows my family is in the magnet business (magnets for education, science & industry) and took me up on my offer to teach a class to the kids. What struck me is the questions. And the excitement in the children’s voices. They weren’t bad or disruptive – they were fascinated. When I asked questions (and I asked hard questions – like why does a rectangular ceramic magnet pick up 10x more weight if you sandwich it between 2 steel plates?) the kids were willing to take a stab at it. Willing to guess wrong. To stick their little necks out and try.

I’ve been in lots of meetings lately with grown-ups. And I don’t see much of that. When does that happen? Why are we so afraid of being wrong in front of our collegues? Are we just too concerned about our career tracks or our image to others that we stop taking risks? I, for one, am going to reassess this behavior and start taking bigger risks in meetings. I really believe there is more to gain than lose.

One of the things I like so much about this new world order is that each person’s contribution is judged by the contribution itself. Let me back up a little. I’ve been online since the mid-eighties. Text-based. I was uploading data before any of my friends knew what a modem was. Okay, this will totally show my age, but I had a 2400 baud modem attached to my old Macintosh computer — and I thought it was the grooviest thing ever. I played multi-player games on GEnie. If you even know what GEnie is, you qualify to join my propeller head club. But I digress….

Women who spent time online were 1) not in the mainstream and 2) quiet about it. As I’ve matured, grown in my business life and gained the confidence that I sometimes have, I’ve been behind the sidelines cheering on the women (young and not so young) out there who are showing the world that women are an integral cog in the business world. I have quietly thanked them for standing up and standing out. Now I have my little teeny venue to thank them.

Girls and women are fully engaged and online now. It’s 2005. We are as much a part of this world as the men. And online we’re all as strong and powerful as we want to be. But think back, ladies. High school. Junior high. Girls were mean. To each other and, even sometimes, to themselves. Have we grown out of that? Some have. Many, many haven’t. There are so many women who still have the insecurities that came with puberty – is my hair straight enough, are my teeth white enough, are my clothes stylish enough? Am I thin enough? If I’m not, then I’m not as good as SHE is. If my butt doesn’t look as good in Seven jeans, I must be inferior.

I saw Mean Girls the other night on DVD. I liked it, I admit. But for the days since then, I have thought a lot about how I’ve treated others. I think I’ve done a good job. I think I’m kind. I do know that I was not nice to a couple girls. I remember their names and their faces and I’m sorry. I do think about them. They didn’t deserve it.

And I can tell you the things that girls said to me 25 years ago (and more!) that still hurt my feelings. And about grown women who say hurtful things all the time. I suppose that at all ages, these insecure people get lifted up by kicking others down. I suppose it’s human nature. But it still sucks. My heart hurts when I hear about my friends’ daughters and what they hear in social circles.

And why is it so easy for us to hear the negative things about ourselves and so hard to hear the good? I think it’s even harder for girls. The expectations we put on ourselves is crazy. My high school reunion was a few months back. My 25th. Yikes. There was a copy of the Last Will & Testament from graduation that we all contributed to way back when that was circulated around via email. It was harsh. Really, really harsh. And then, we were invited to add our current day comments. And I’m really very sad to report that some of the new comments were no better. What a disapointment. Even one of my close friends wrote something about me that hurt my feelings. Now. At age 43.

But online, no one knows our history. No one knows what size jeans we wear. Online, we can be ourselves. Whew.

At my son’s basketball practice tonight, Alex’s dad was reading a book about the Washington Redskins. I asked if he also liked the Ravens, but he clearly let me know he does not like that “bogus” team. Ellen, in my poker game, loves the Ravens. She does not like the Redskins. My son’s teacher, Mr. Soskil? He was going to forgo homework for 2 days if the St. Louis Rams won the playoffs. He lives in the Baltimore/DC corridor, too. So I wonder, what makes a fan a fan? Why do we like some teams better than others? The Redskins are good some years, but not always. But Alex’s dad follows them religiously every year. And the other thing I wonder is when a team wins, we say “WE WON” but we didn’t win, they did. What makes us regular folks feel like a part of the success? When they lose, we usually say “THEY LOST.” Is it less our responsibility than the win?

Don’t get me wrong. I do understand that watching sports is great entertainment and can be cathartic. But it’s the personal connection that escapes me.

Perhaps it’s a little like company spirit. I know people who identify with their company like crazy – carrying logo’d briefcases, using company mugs, etc. They talk up where they work. They love the place. Our best salesmen & spokespeople are those people who love their jobs and their company. Maybe we can do more to make work like sports. Be more like a team. Make people, even those on the periphery or those not even really in the hard-core game, feel like a part of the success or failure. Wouldn’t everyone in the company and the company itself benefit from that?

Incentive programs and profit sharing have been shown to work, of course, but I’m not talking about tangible rewards. I’m talking about pride. I’m going to think more about how to create more personal pride in organizations….

I understand the need for advertising dollars to support online publications. Happens all the time. We’ve all learned to live with it, or have chosen to pay for content. I, personally, often prefer to pay for content. But ads on sites is a fact of life.

HOWEVER, I read an article this morning on Askmen.com – and found myself really pissed off. The article, The Most Stolen Cars of 2004 (and please don’t ask why I wanted to read it – I guess it was just curiousity), had links embedded throughout the article. But they were to car sales and buying sites. They were ads! Am I the only one who thinks this sucks?

My sister-in-law sent me an article from the NYTimes yesterday and I didn’t read it until just now. What a hoot! All-Mom Bands Rock Housewife Stereotype is a great read. While I surely knew that moms over 40 are not all washed up (at least I need to believe that!), it’s great to see some women really out there! Thanks, Liz!

Most of us remember that the MPAA Rating sytem did not have a PG-13 rating until the late-eighties. I guess I’ve lost track of time. Back when every movie was G, PG, R, X (now NC-17, it seems), we had a pretty good idea what was what. So when you order a PG movie now from Netflix (they really need to refresh their inventory, it’s getting pretty tired), the “old” PGs are not the same as the “new” PGs. Case in point… I got Twins for the boys to see. Well, suffice it to say, they have some new vocabulary words now. Chalk it up to experience. I suppose I should check the release date from now on.

I had the pleasure of hearing an incredible intense discussion about the strategy of Luigi’s Mansion. For those of you who don’t think that 6 year olds understand cause and effect, strategic planning and in-depth decision trees, I beg to differ. Poor Max. Now that I understand his skill level in deep thinking, my expectations are going to be much higher.

While making three Peanut Butter & Nutella sandwiches this morning (clearly nutrition is not my biggest worry), I was thinking about how fortunate I am to have my work tie so closely to what I believe. I get to work with some wonderful nonprofits on a volunteer and for-pay projects. More on my causes another day.

But then the kids went to school and I started reading and I saw a great post from Learned on Women Nonprofits As Examples of Humanization? We do need to think about what we’re doing and why. And is it sustainable?

Cause-related marketing has, over the last several years, really come into its own. Some people really do it well – Lee Jeans Denim Day has been hugely successful, the results of Live Strong have been in every mainstream newspaper and those ribbon magnets are everywhere. It’s all good stuff.

But here’s the thing. There is an entire segment of cause marketing that I don’t see enough. And that I wish I’d see. And that I think would make my life better. But before I go there, have you seen the The Chronicle of Philanthropy’s special report The Young and the Generous? Or the Kellogg Foundation’s Youth and Community: Engaging Young People in Philanthropy and Service focusing on the ways nonprofit organizations are engaging youth?

So why, as marketers, aren’t we doing more to encourage the involvment of our youth? The opportunities are everywhere. How are we going to create more charitable young people who are more willing to give of their time and their hard-earned money? We need to engage the parents now. To create cause-related opportunities where we can teach our kids how important they are to the process – now and forever.

Example. My boys, ages 6, 7, 9, wanted to contribute to help with tsunami aid. Passbook savings books in their little hands, we went to The Columbia Bank to withdraw some of that “birthday” money. WELL, come to find out that the bank is matching all donations. Think about it – if they had told us (or the thousands of other parents that use the bank!) – how many of us would have used to this as a chance to show the kids that the world does care and that look how much your contribution can do and that they are a part of something much bigger? A lot, I hope. But they didn’t. We didn’t know until we walked in the door. They did a great thing, but forgot to spread the word.

When we tie a donation to the sale of a product, the benefits are obvious. But what if we tied real tzedakah to the products and services? What if we really cared about the people of the world and everything we did reflected that?