Ladies, start your engines

One of the things I like so much about this new world order is that each person’s contribution is judged by the contribution itself. Let me back up a little. I’ve been online since the mid-eighties. Text-based. I was uploading data before any of my friends knew what a modem was. Okay, this will totally show my age, but I had a 2400 baud modem attached to my old Macintosh computer — and I thought it was the grooviest thing ever. I played multi-player games on GEnie. If you even know what GEnie is, you qualify to join my propeller head club. But I digress….

Women who spent time online were 1) not in the mainstream and 2) quiet about it. As I’ve matured, grown in my business life and gained the confidence that I sometimes have, I’ve been behind the sidelines cheering on the women (young and not so young) out there who are showing the world that women are an integral cog in the business world. I have quietly thanked them for standing up and standing out. Now I have my little teeny venue to thank them.

Girls and women are fully engaged and online now. It’s 2005. We are as much a part of this world as the men. And online we’re all as strong and powerful as we want to be. But think back, ladies. High school. Junior high. Girls were mean. To each other and, even sometimes, to themselves. Have we grown out of that? Some have. Many, many haven’t. There are so many women who still have the insecurities that came with puberty – is my hair straight enough, are my teeth white enough, are my clothes stylish enough? Am I thin enough? If I’m not, then I’m not as good as SHE is. If my butt doesn’t look as good in Seven jeans, I must be inferior.

I saw Mean Girls the other night on DVD. I liked it, I admit. But for the days since then, I have thought a lot about how I’ve treated others. I think I’ve done a good job. I think I’m kind. I do know that I was not nice to a couple girls. I remember their names and their faces and I’m sorry. I do think about them. They didn’t deserve it.

And I can tell you the things that girls said to me 25 years ago (and more!) that still hurt my feelings. And about grown women who say hurtful things all the time. I suppose that at all ages, these insecure people get lifted up by kicking others down. I suppose it’s human nature. But it still sucks. My heart hurts when I hear about my friends’ daughters and what they hear in social circles.

And why is it so easy for us to hear the negative things about ourselves and so hard to hear the good? I think it’s even harder for girls. The expectations we put on ourselves is crazy. My high school reunion was a few months back. My 25th. Yikes. There was a copy of the Last Will & Testament from graduation that we all contributed to way back when that was circulated around via email. It was harsh. Really, really harsh. And then, we were invited to add our current day comments. And I’m really very sad to report that some of the new comments were no better. What a disapointment. Even one of my close friends wrote something about me that hurt my feelings. Now. At age 43.

But online, no one knows our history. No one knows what size jeans we wear. Online, we can be ourselves. Whew.