Self-Esteem

I just finished designing and printing award certificates for all the members of Max’s basketball team. Andrew is the coach of this 6-7 year old clinic team. So the awards are for Dribbling, Shooting, Passing, Teamwork, Most Improved, Best Attitude… you get the picture. Honestly, it makes me nuts. The accepted strategy in school, teams, everywhere seems to be “everyone’s a winner.” We want to be sure to help boost all the kids’ self-esteem. Lovely thought. Very silly way to do it, in my opinion. Do we really think kids are that myopic? Don’t we adults know that kids can see that everyone gets an award which eliminates the meaning of any award?

Back in the day, there were winners and losers. I know plenty of people who lost contests and games and didn’t get awards who are plenty confident as adults. I never won a game of dodgeball. Never won a race in track. Never starred in a school play. Never brought home an award from my softball league. But I did get into the Honor Society. I did get recognized for other accomplishments. I do think I’m a fairly well-balanced adult. (fairly being the key word)

So why do we feel that our children can’t handle failure or, better yet, not being the very best? If we are teaching our kids that they deserve to be awarded for everything they do, aren’t we suggesting implicitly that the things that they REALLY do well are not so special? Doesn’t it just make everything dull and mediocre?