I Don’t Cook

I don’t cook. I’ve been told I’m a decent assembler. And I have a few things that don’t suck – my pea soup, brisket, beef stew. Though several important people in my life don’t eat those things. Oh well. During the week, I only make dinner if Andrew has meetings. And then, it’s usually bacon & eggs. Or hot dogs. I can microwave a mean hot dog. Ask anyone.

On the weekends, if we have company, I’m a bang-up sous chef. Well, I’m not great with a knife (several bad hand cuts over the years – thank you to Dr. Katz, by the way) but I am very helpful, I’m told. (Or maybe that’s just to keep me from cooking. Not sure. More later.)

Andrew, on the other hand, is a terrific cook. It’s quite impressive. Though I doubt he’d admit it, he learned to cook to impress chicks. Hey, it worked with me way back when. I brag to my friends that I don’t have to make dinner. It sounds great. But in reality, it’s a little depressing. Preparing and serving food is really social. People look at you adoringly when you serve up Thai crab and shrimp cakes. I know, I’ve looked at Andrew adoringly when he does. I don’t know those looks. I know the look of “do I really have to eat this?” Not a look to envy. I promise.

On the other hand, I can have whatever I want. I can tell Andrew what I want all week and he’ll make it so. That’s pretty groovy. Tonight, scallops in garlic butter served with asparagus and basmati rice. Not bad for a Tuesday.

Why do I bring this all up? It’s all those darn food blogs. I’m strangely attracted to them. I can’t stop checking them out, but then there is the realistic me that knows I’ll never make any of those lucious sounding recipes. There’s a great list of food blogs at Food Porn Watch. And here’s one I need to send to Andrew — Danger! Men Cooking!

Bon Appetit.

Efficiency?

The Amazing Efficiency Of America’s Youth This Forbes article discusses that kids are packing eight and a half hours of media usage into just six and a half hours. The secret is multitasking, never having to leave the bedroom and parents staying the hell out of the way.

Oh, to be young again.

Marketing to Mass Affluent Women

The first thing I thought when I saw this article — Marketing to Mass Affluent Women — is “mass women?” Are we talking about wealthy women with a BMI over a certain number? Or are we talking about affluent female gangs?

All joking aside, “mass affluent” refers to households with over $75,000 annual income. And this is an interesting article based on Gallup data – an article that info-geeks like me just love.

The highlight for me:

“Forty-two percent of affluent women report that they are frequently stressed, compared to 32% of affluent men who say the same. Overall, 89% of affluent women report at least occasional stress, vs. 77% of affluent men.

Little wonder, then, that the U.S. mass-market day-spa category is booming — the number of such spas doubled over the last five years to about 8,700 today — or that for $32.95, women can buy a product called Dr. Hauschka Stress Less Honey.”

Okay, ladies…is this news to any of you?

ACC/Duke

Andrew got tickets to see Duke play in the ACC Tournament yesterday. He took his dad. They were very happy. Today, as I’m sure you know, Duke won the tournament. Andrew is very happy. But you know, I think he’s almost as happy about Duke winning as he is about facing all our Maryland-fanatic friends at this evening’s end-of-season basketball party for the 7-year old league. And about talking to his friend Mike who went to UNC. And definitely about talking to Larry. (sorry, Larry & thanks for the great CD.)

While I admit to making “Breathe if you love Duke” t-shirts for the boys, to me it’s all in good fun. Reed won’t even wear one – doesn’t want to make his friends feel badly. Now there’s a lesson for us all.

Harsh Judgements

I read this post at jennethink today. She wrote about what are you measuring yourself against? Well, it got me to thinking. She usually does, in fact.

I’ve been working with Cyrus, a personal trainer, since November. I can do 100 push ups and as many 130 degree situps in a 1-hour session. I can bench press my weight – and do a respectable set. I can do squats with well over 100 lbs. on my shoulders. I can do several pullups before I collapse. I should be proud. I’m strong and working hard.

But today, Cyrus did a body fat test on me and I failed. Okay, he didn’t say I failed, but it was higher than I expected and much higher than I’d hoped. All I wanted to do was go home and eat Oreos.

What of my improvement over the past 4 months? Do I give myself credit for that or do I simply look around the gym at the perfectly sculpted women (who incidently have probably been working at it for years)? Why do I think that I should look like the 23-year old spinning instructor? I’m old enough to be her mother.

So I am obviously measuring myself against what movies and magazines show me I should look like, rather than against where I’ve been. How to get past this… No clue. And the saddest part to me is that I was proud and did feel great about the progress and focus until that stupid body fat test. Oh, the test.

Maybe there’s another takeaway from this too. When the kids come home with the excitement of new knowledge, I should rejoice. When they come home with a good grade, I should remember the new knowledge. That was the point, right?

The Client Brought His Calculator To The Creative Presentation

I cleaned out some files today and found one of my favorite pieces of creative. It was written by Chris Scharpf (who is a wonderful writer and a tropical fish enthusiast) who was employed at the time by Gray Kirk & Evans (which is now GKV). The piece was a pro bono invitation to an Advertising Association of Baltimore event. And it’s old – from May 1991. I was the account person on the project and I am still proud of it reading it today. As you read it, keep in mind that we all got in trouble because it was based on a real experience with a real client at the time. Oops.

“He was a numbers guy, after all.

Everything he knew about advertising could be expressed in a spreadsheet. Media, research, the latest agency invoice.

Everything, that is, except creative.

Here he had trouble. Words, images, ideas, abstractions.

Things as deep and mysterious as the inside of a noodle.

The agency presented with skill. Their strategy was sound. Their ideas smart. Their executions clean and original. But they used words like “visceral” and “on the edge.” They talked about “jump cuts” and “pushing the color.” They argued that people responded to commercials emotionally, not rationally.

The client began to twitch, He did not understand what his agency was saying. He did not “see” what they were describing. The glowing LED numbers on his calculator offered no help or reassurance. Yellow hilighter in hand, he went through each script, counting the number of times the product’s name was mentioned. “There’s not enough about the product,” he said. “You need to mention it more often, not just at the end.”

Client 1, agency O.

Such a stand-off has always been a major concern for Jeff Goodby. As a writer and director he has created some of the most visionary advertising of recent years. And as one of the founding partners of Goodby, Berlin & Silverstein, he has had to sell tha vision to any number of CEOs, CFOs, MBAs and other client types. And sell he does. For Jeff has helped build GBS into a $100 million agency. And he has built it by doing stylish, groundbreaking work for clients such as Royal Viking Lines, New Yorker Magazine, Heinz Pet products, and Polaroid’s Cool Cam, to name a few. Work that not only wins awards, but work that works. Work he made sure his clients didn’t fail to “see.”

How does Jeff do it? Find out as the Advertising Association of Baltimore hosts Jeff Goodby for lunch and a lecture, May 21st, 11:30 am, at the Hyatt Regency, Inner Harbor.
Jeff will share his secrets on creating good creative that sells, and on selling good creative that stays that way. He’ll even give us his honest, unsolicited opinion of the state of creativity in the 90s.

{details here}

And remember to check your calculators at the door.”

Travel Style

Talk about exceeding expectations! Yesterday, I went to New York City. It was my sister’s birthday and there was a nice luncheon planned at Va Bene. (It was very delicious, by the way!)

I was planning to drive. It’s only about 4 hours from here and, if you plan timing well, the traffic can be avoided a bit. Yes, it’s a lot to drive in 1 day, but I’m a driver. My mother and aunts thought that taking the bus would be easier and more relaxing. For $50, you get a ride up and back – leaving Baltimore at 6:00 am and returning around 10:00 pm. I pictured a bus full of women of leisure – you know those women with lots of jewelry, boxed haircolor and really, really loud voices. Those ladies you see out to lunch so often. You know who I mean.

So at 5:45 am, I drove to the shopping center to meet the bus. There were 2 buses from Superior Tours. We checked in with the hostess and got our assigned seats. The hostess told us what to expect – continental breakfast would be served on the way up and we’d see a movie on the way back. So far, I admit it sounded okay. So we hit the road, and I did some work. The hostess brought OJ and bagels around. I read a book. I’m reading Twisted, by Jonathan Kellerman.

And really…before I knew it, we were in New York City – dropped off at Rockefeller Center. We shopped a bit on Fifth Avenue and most notably at Takashimaya, one of the loveliest stores I’ve ever seen. Then we grabbed a taxi and went to the luncheon – which was really nice – and then back to the Midtown area to schmei until the bus was ready to take us home. It was cold. Very cold. We ended up going into stores we didn’t even like just warm up. Then got some sushi from Dean & Deluca for the ride home.

So we got back on the bus and found out we’d get to watch Ray on the ride home. And that driver, Danny, got us out of NYC during rush hour in no time flat. When the movie ended, we were almost home.

So was it what I expected? Well, the women on the bus were exactly what I expected. But the experience was so very much better than I would have believed. And my knuckles didn’t hurt from fighting the New Jersey turnpike. So I’m really glad I got to spend my sister’s birthday with her and her friends. And really glad that I didn’t have to drive!

10×10 / 100 Words and Pictures that Define the Time

10×10 / 100 Words and Pictures that Define the Time My cousin, Jay, sent me this link. I’m not sure what struck me more – that news of the day can be in a visual matrix or that which stories were grouped together by keywords. Either way – it’s worth a look.

Self-Esteem

I just finished designing and printing award certificates for all the members of Max’s basketball team. Andrew is the coach of this 6-7 year old clinic team. So the awards are for Dribbling, Shooting, Passing, Teamwork, Most Improved, Best Attitude… you get the picture. Honestly, it makes me nuts. The accepted strategy in school, teams, everywhere seems to be “everyone’s a winner.” We want to be sure to help boost all the kids’ self-esteem. Lovely thought. Very silly way to do it, in my opinion. Do we really think kids are that myopic? Don’t we adults know that kids can see that everyone gets an award which eliminates the meaning of any award?

Back in the day, there were winners and losers. I know plenty of people who lost contests and games and didn’t get awards who are plenty confident as adults. I never won a game of dodgeball. Never won a race in track. Never starred in a school play. Never brought home an award from my softball league. But I did get into the Honor Society. I did get recognized for other accomplishments. I do think I’m a fairly well-balanced adult. (fairly being the key word)

So why do we feel that our children can’t handle failure or, better yet, not being the very best? If we are teaching our kids that they deserve to be awarded for everything they do, aren’t we suggesting implicitly that the things that they REALLY do well are not so special? Doesn’t it just make everything dull and mediocre?

Sephora

The new Sephora ad headline says “educated beauty experts in every store.” That may be true. But they don’t seem to want to share that knowledge.

I shopped on Sephora.com for years. Then, halleluiah, a real live Sephora store opened at my local mall. I admit I was excited. Although the same products, or at least many of them, were already available at Nordstrom and other department stores, I couldn’t wait to go in and see it all in one place.

So I ran right in. There was a greeter. Nice. But that’s where the customer service ended. No one asked to help me. No one. I finally got someone’s attention (not an easy task) and told her what I was looking for. She told me it was at the front of the store. That’s it. So I went to the front, didn’t find it and left.

But I went back anyway. Must be a glutton for punishment. Again, the salespeople were too busy, too important, or too busy primping to ask me if I needed help. But again, I asked for help. And I was told, “I don’t know.” Then she went back to what she was doing. Not yet ready to give up, I stopped another diva. She was clearly bored with my request, but did point me to the right aisle, at least.

I’m in no hurry to go back. But I can’t help but wonder if the 4-color glossy ads are the best spend for this company. Maybe a customer service program and employee training would pay off better in the long run.