Change or Die

Interesting article from Fast Company. The premise is that even if you knew you would die if you didn’t change your behavior, you won’t. Read about the odds — scientifically studied odds — nine to one against you. Who could like those odds?

Big Brother

Yesterday, Andrew was driving out of town on his way to Pittsburgh. He took the rural route to the interstate passing an area we think is really beautiful. And he saw a “for sale” sign for a house on a hill overlooking meadows and woods. It’s not that we’re looking to move. But for an old house on a hill with some land, we could be convinced. Easily.

So I drove there – it’s about 15 minutes from here – to pick up a flyer. The house wasn’t old, as we thought, but it was nice. With a view to die for. So I called the “hotline” number on the flyer to find out the price (affordable!) and went home to see the virtual tour online. The tour was done quite well – I saw a beautiful, spacious kitchen and some really nice spaces with terrific wood floors and great details throughout. I emailed the tour to a friend. I called Andrew on his cell phone to talk about it. We were on the fence. Probably, it wasn’t close enough to our dream house to make a move.

This morning, the phone rang. It was the listing agent for the house. He asked for me by name. (I hadn’t left a message or called his direct line.) Ewww. I asked him if he got my name and number from me calling the info line. And of course, that is where he got it. I told him I thought it was creepy. (though smart, but I didn’t tell him that.) He told me that he has 3 contracts on the house, but that if I’m looking, he’d be happy to help. (shock.) If he hadn’t been so easy to talk to, I’d have hung up right then. But he was lovely. I found myself telling him about the house that we dream about and he said he’d keep his eyes open.

The upshot? Smart (albeit creepy) use of technology with a huge dose of listening might get him a client.

Anyone know a good moving company?

Women turn midlife on its head…

Women turn midlife on its head

“Motorcycle mama: Female ownership and operation of motorcycles has risen 34 percent in five years — faster than the overall average.

Muscle-bound: Free-weight training among women ages 35-54 has increased sevenfold in 15 years, surpassing men’s participation three to one. And their health club memberships rose by nearly one-third — nearly double the rate posted by midlife men.”

This article talks about some interesting trends in “middle aged” (yikes, I hate that term!) women. I had no idea I was so typical…. But seriously, I found the article interesting & you might too.

Classic Rock

We have a room downstairs with the toys and games and Foosball. The kids play there a lot. Particularly on rainy days. Including our 3, there were 8 kids here for Seder. They couldn’t wait to hit the playroom – before the dinner and again, afterward. Yesterday, I went down to take a peak. What a disaster! A couple items of note:

• Soapy water in the bathroom sink – filled with naked action heroes.
• Four pairs of little boy Gap underwear scattered around the room. Your guess is as good as mine.
• A tip jar (with a note asking for tips). What is that about?
• Pieces of Playmobil everywhere.
• Rubber & plastic bugs scattered strategically to freak me out. (but I didn’t fall for it)

But the most interesting to me… 50 or so of my favorite music CDs. Including Steve Miller in the CD player. I am really happy that my kids like my music. (though asking to borrow them would be really appreciated next time, guys!) It saves hours of arguing in the car over what to put on the radio. And it means that I can hook up my iPod and they’ll be happy. Yeah. And the fact that Reed can identify the Grateful Dead, Rolling Stones, Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, Bruce Springsteen, and even John Mellencamp — well, that just plain makes me proud.

Admittedly, there are some problems with this course of events. For instance, consider Steve Miller’s Joker. “Mom, what is a midnight toker?” Or how about some Eric Clapton songs? And really, if you think about it, there are inappropriate messages in lots of the songs. Do they understand them yet? I don’t think so really. The messages in much of the “new” music are a lot more direct – and leave little room for interpretation.

So for now, it’s fine. I hope the questions keep coming. I can handle it. I’d rather have the questions and give the answers than have the questions answered on the playground. And I can tell you from experience that those answers are a far cry from what I’d want them to hear!

Prep

As a child, I remember my mother getting ready for holiday dinners. The menu was prepared weeks ahead and much of the food was made and frozen early. On the day before the blessed event, she’d set the table beautifully and on the day of the event, she’d pull together the last minute details. I thought that was the way to go. It was calm and spread that holiday feeling and anticipation out.

In high school, I emulated this behavior and worked hard to have all assignments, reports, projects due early – leaving only the finishing touches for last minute attention. It worked for me. But then I went to college. No longer did I do anything early, but I was also never late. It was stressful, but I had a job at a cool night club and lots of friends in the priority line. And I also had a clean apartment.

So when I grew up, I had a choice. Should I be Susie Homemaker and have all the preparation done and a table to die for? (when I looked up Susie Homemaker, I expected to find a retro site… I am stunned that there is a real & modern Susie!) Surely in my business life I plan ahead, don’t cram on projects. So that must be the way to go. It works. So that is what I did for years. I got compliments on the dinners and there were creative things for the kids to do during the “boring” parts and it was all good.

Tonight is the Passover Seder at our house. We’re having 22 people — it was supposed to be 24, but unfortunately 2 of our loved-ones can’t join us this year. For Seder, you are supposed to invite “outsiders” in. Well ours is really a motley crew – 6 of the people aren’t related to us – and 5 (not totally the same ones) aren’t Jewish. And unlike many family affairs, I really like everyone who is coming (though there is one I’ve never met!). But I digress.

Last week, I called the rental place to order tables, chairs and table linens. Then I did nothing. I mean nothing. I didn’t even know what I was going to serve. On Wednesday night, I wrote a menu. On Thursday I shopped – 4 stores – to get all the ingredients. And yesterday, I made the matzo ball soup, charoset, apple sauce, hot fudge pie, tapenade. And today, I have to do the rest. And it’s a lot.

I still have to set the table, clean the house, make the tenderloin, the chicken, asparagus, tzimmes, prepare the Seder Plate…. And more. The guests will be here at 5:00 pm. It’s already 8:25 am and am I busting ass to get this stuff done? No, actually I’m blogging!

So I can look at this one of three ways. 1) I’ve regressed to my college self. Irresponsible and waiting to the last minute 2) I have realized that compressing the preparation allows for total immersion for greater enjoyment and spirituality, or 3) I have become so efficient and so focused that I am able to do what used to take a week in only 2 days. (And can leap buildings in a single bound.)

You decide. I’m going to the gym.

‘slacktivism’

This article from The Artful Manager talks about ‘slacktivism’ which is defined as:

“Slacktivism, the phrase itself a rather lazy haemorrhaging of the two words slacker and activism, is the counter-intuitive idea that you can somehow change the world and topple its complacent political classes without even rising from your chair.”

The article points to another article and to this great analysis by Snopes talking about the lack of impact from email petitions. (I love Snopes - great place to find out if the emails you get from your friend’s aunt’s best friend are true!)

I have thought about this a lot. I get emails asking me to sign and pass it on, asking me to go to a website and “take action” all the time. (I get a lot of email – just ask Linda who checks my email when I’m on vacation!) And I’m involved in a lot of organizations. I’ve never thought that passive support (or non-support) of issues was much help. But reading these articles really brought it home!

Is it better to be a slacktivist than nothing? I don’t know. But I do know that I am willing to take real action on the issues that matter the most to me. You?

Bridges

I got a phone call yesterday from the guy who was the head of account service at the agency where I got my start in the business. He wasn’t young then – so now, he’s really not. He called because he saw an article in the New York Times Magazine last Sunday that made him think of me. (it was a great article, btw) We made plans to meet for lunch in a few weeks to catch up. We meet every year or so. He doesn’t work in an agency – he no longer has the fight in him. He consults with clients, with agencies, works on new business pitches. He’s a really smart ad guy with strategic inclinations. He hasn’t, however, kept up. He doesn’t understand any of the new media and, frankly, doesn’t understand the new generations. (anyone under 30 is a mystery to him is my guess) But I digress.

What dawned on me after talking to John is that I have burned very few bridges. I keep in touch (perhaps loosely) with most people I’ve enjoyed knowing over the years. It’s so wonderful, in my opinion, to have a network of people from different stages and places. I admit I got snickers from my friends when I called a babysitter from 7 years ago in another city to ask if she could sit for my guys when we were in town. She not only said yes, she said she would LOVE to and that she couldn’t wait and didn’t want me to pay her. Of course I paid her. But the thing is, she hasn’t babysat in all those years. She’s a golf pro. But we had a relationship and I maintained it. And it was wonderful to see her.

Andrew and I have a client who used to be his supervisor years back. We have friends who started as clients and clients who started as co-workers and relatives who were clients and so on and so on and so, in reality, it never pays to burn bridges.

Our business is mainly fueled by referrals. The word-of-mouth revolution is nothing new – only the conduit is new. Today, we got a new client. A referral. But the funny thing is, we don’t know the guy who did the referring! Someone must have told him about us convincingly enough that he passed it on. And we’re grateful.

Breast Implants

From Businessweek. As emotions rise in the discussion of breast implants, I can’t help but wonder if men think about anything other than boobs. Breast Implants: Science vs. Emotion

Resignation

From Askmen, How To Write A Letter Of Resignation.

Didn’t I just see a Jamie Fox movie on cable about this? I don’t know why I found this funny. But I did. Must be the fragile mental state that Little League has driven me to…. More and better tomorrow. I promise.

Don’t Worry

wor·ry ( P ) (wûr, wr)v. wor·ried, (wûrd, wr-) wor·ry·ing, wor·ries (wûrz, wr-) v. intr.
To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.

I do worry. About the people I love and about work and about the state of the world. I think it’s interesting when someone tells me not to worry. Now think about it. Does that person think that it is my preference to be worried? Clearly not. So how productive is it to tell me not to worry? Not very. Perhaps it’s a statement that he (or she) believes his ability to control his emotions is better than mine. Or perhaps it’s a statement of total faith in me that I can just erase any feeling I choose at a moment’s notice. That would be some trick.

I come from a long line of worriers and I’m here to tell you I don’t hold a candle to my predecessors. But just the same, I worry.

It’s not lack of confidence in myself. When I worry about a work project, it’s not that I don’t actually believe I can’t do it – it’s that I worry about timing and details and perfection. Ahhh – perfection. There’s a subject for another day.

My sister just left for Israel with her youngest daughter. Her husband and two other daughters leave Thursday. He worries about a plane crash – if they were all together there would be nothing left. If it was my family, I would worry about being left.

But we all see things a little differently, which is good. I think.