Don’t Worry
Posted: April 19, 2005 Filed under: Uncategorized 5 Comments »wor·ry ( P ) (wûr, wr)v. wor·ried, (wûrd, wr-) wor·ry·ing, wor·ries (wûrz, wr-) v. intr.
To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.
I do worry. About the people I love and about work and about the state of the world. I think it’s interesting when someone tells me not to worry. Now think about it. Does that person think that it is my preference to be worried? Clearly not. So how productive is it to tell me not to worry? Not very. Perhaps it’s a statement that he (or she) believes his ability to control his emotions is better than mine. Or perhaps it’s a statement of total faith in me that I can just erase any feeling I choose at a moment’s notice. That would be some trick.
I come from a long line of worriers and I’m here to tell you I don’t hold a candle to my predecessors. But just the same, I worry.
It’s not lack of confidence in myself. When I worry about a work project, it’s not that I don’t actually believe I can’t do it – it’s that I worry about timing and details and perfection. Ahhh – perfection. There’s a subject for another day.
My sister just left for Israel with her youngest daughter. Her husband and two other daughters leave Thursday. He worries about a plane crash – if they were all together there would be nothing left. If it was my family, I would worry about being left.
But we all see things a little differently, which is good. I think.
I believe that when people say “don’t worry,” it’s less about a desire to control another’s emotions and more about protection and caring… “I don’t want you to have more thing on your plate.” Like you, I’m a worryer. When it’s about work, it *is* about perfection and perhaps feeling that I can’t accomplish an assignment within a given time period, be it as the result of the subject matter, lack of proper tools, or lack of faith in my ability. Other times, when it’s about relationships, it has to do with the fact that I deeply care about what happens to the people I love. Perhaps worrying is just one facet of being a friend, a parent, or a child.
It’s really hard not to worry. You really have inherited the “loving & caring” gene. And this is combined with the “worry” gene. Well, if you didn’t worry you wouldn’t be you. And I love you just the way you are.
Mom
“Blanche”,
Your comment about the family who won’t fly together brought back to mind an incident when I was a kid, growing up in Tulsa…during the late-50′s. One of our neighbors built a backyard bomb shelter. He angered my father when he told us that if Daddy loved us enough, HE’D build one for our family, also.
My father’s retort is that if America was virtually destroyed in a nuclear blast, he didn’t think any of us would want to be around to help pick up the pieces. He told the neighbor, “There are worse things than dying.”
I can’t say that I disagree with him now, either.
ALWAYS enjoy your writings…keep up the great work!
Janet
hi
nn8v0b1017fuc7ws
good luck
hi
nn8v0b1017fuc7ws
good luck