Easy.

Before you start thinking I was neurotic about the middle school backpack or that it was like the lunchbox episode, think again. This is totally different. And the only reason I am telling you this is to discuss economics. Not to let you know that I have spent more time at Staples than Eric, the manager of store #1051. Let me start at the beginning.

When my son told me that he’d like a new backpack for middle school, I said no problem. His old one lasted several years and really is worn to shreds. And, because I know how it is in middle school, I was even willing to buy him a really nice one. In fact, the one he choose with all the bells and whistles was $59.99. Since I’d seen ones like it in L.L. Bean for twice the price, I bit.

I don’t know if you know, but at Staples, if you return an empty printer cartridge, they give you a coupon for $3.00. And you can use 3 coupons with a purchase. I had returned a boat-load of cartridges so have a virtually unlimited supply of those $3.00 coupons. So I got $9.00 off the backpack.

Well Orientation Day came around. Seems that the lockers can only hold a backpack that is 10.5″ wide by 9″ deep and the one I bought was quite a bit wider. Live and learn. I went back, alone this time. I found one the same brand, with one strap, lots of groovy pockets. Very nice. $39.99. I returned the first one, bought the second. I used my coupons. $9.00 off.

Come to realize that the three-ring binder that we’d bought previously didn’t fit in the new backpack. Could we live with it? No, not really. Okay. Here we go.

So we went back to Staples and together picked one that measured correctly to fit in the locker and that would hold the binder. I returned the second one, bought the third one and used my $9.00 worth of coupons.

Now before I show you the math, I must say I bought extra things each time. They got me with all the displays and impulse buys. So it’s not as bad as it seems. But still, I think I need to send a check to that manager of #1015.

backpack 1 $59.99
- discount $9.00
total $50.99

backpack 2 $39.99
- discount $9.00
coupons from backpack 1 $9.00
total $21.99

backpack 3 $9.99
- discount $9.00
coupons from backpack 1 $9.00
coupons from backpack 2 $9.00
total $(17.01)

So Staples paid me $17.01 to take the fricking backpack and never darken their doors again. But they can’t possibly be as sick of me as I am of them!

Seriously, they were great. I didn’t realize that the coupons kept accruing. But I know I spent at least that much on gas….