Ho. Ho. Ho.
Posted: November 14, 2006 Filed under: Uncategorized 7 Comments »It is with great sadness that I report that the holiday season is upon us. Why so glum, you ask? It’s because the f*cking holiday spirit is not fun for me. Already, I see the people in the grocery store gather themselves up and push a little harder and faster past me. Already I see the parking lots full of aggressive shoppers who are in dire need of that particular space. Already I see the catalogs and the emails and the letters and the phone calls promising to help me create a happy holiday.
I’m a marketer. I love the consumer experience. I love marketing, when it’s smart.
It is not smart to send me an American Girl catalog. Although I think they’re really nice, I’m not in the market. I’ve been getting their catalogs for many years now. And I’ve never purchased from one. Think they should cleanse the list? Me too. Maybe they were hoping I’d have a girl this year. So was my mother. Sorry to both of you.
You companies that I bought from last year? Do you remember me? I did not buy from a catalog. So why do you send me one? I did not come into your store, so why are you sending me in-store coupons? Think people. Think! I bought from your website, along with a bazillion other people. And that is what I want to do this year. But you are making it hard for me. You are not giving me the same coupons for your online stores, now, are you? You want me to get in my car and drive to your place. Well, I don’t want to. So there.
And to my friend, Sara’s point, I don’t want to buy your stinking gift cards either. So stop pushing them. Some people want presents – thoughtful presents. Not me, mind you. Please don’t get me anything. (But if you insist, I saw this great sweater….)
It’s not that I dislike the holidays.I love family and tradition. I live for latkes and jelly donuts. I think there is not much in this world that is prettier than a real Christmas tree with bows and ornaments. And I love flannel pajamas on a cold crisp night.
I just don’t know if I can make it through 6 more weeks of that incessant music.
Xmas trees are already up in the mall where the store that I work in is. Gross. And company policy is that the Xmas CD goes on the day after Thanksgiving. Although we are required to say “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Xmas” which means very little when you are have to shout “happy holidays” over “Jingle Bells” and “White Christmas.” We have had xmas candy in the store for 2 weeks already. Blech! (well, actually, it is very tasty – fantastic, in fact, but I am already over the whole holiday thing and it hasn’t even started yet:-))
I have come to the conclusion that Christmas is fun for everyone except the mother, who has to do all the decorating, shopping, planning, and wrapping. I’m really dreading it.
Whatever you do, don’t EVER order anything from Smithsonian. I ordered something for my aunt one year and they sold my name to every single overpriced catalog in the country.
Online shopping is definitely the way to go. Even with the overpriced shipping and “handling” charges, it sure beats trudging through the mall full o’ rude people ANY day!
Wendy, all I can say is…I love your rant!
Hey Wendy, I just noticed I’m officially blogrolled!
Also, I’m so glad that you and ezer k’negdo have found eachother…I hope I can take the credit for that, but if not…I’m glad you found your way to eachother…I know you will both enjoy:)
We turned off the Christmas machine a little at a time over the years. It was just too much. So TACKY. We celebrate a little of the season, but now we enjoy a quiet evening by ourselves observing the SOLSTICE. We have our Menorah on the mantel (in honor of our grandkids) and find that doing it our way and not being intimidated suits us well. I was in a store yesterday, and yes, the music was so loud that I couldn’t hear the salesperson. First I thought I was losing my hearing, but Bing Crosby (GAG) was singing about a white christmas at the top of his lungs. Even Hannaukah is all over the place now. Wendy, how did you ever NOT turn out to be my daughter??? Kris and her father love the craziness…they adore going shopping THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. Help me, Rudolph.
Paula L.
i’ve been meaning to write about this topic…but with a little bit of a different spin! i love the song “feliz navidad.” LOVE IT.
Being force-feed anything takes the fun out of it. I know exactly what you mean.
I wanted to save all the Christmas/Holiday catalogs to show what a waste of paper they are as I get about 2-3 every day. But I couldn’t stand to look at them and I’ve been throwing them away.