I’m sorry.

Now that I have a middle schooler, I know a lot of 12-14 year old kids. The boys are getting bigger (and smellier) but they’re really still just little boys. Well, little boys on the verge of being bigger boys. Most of them anyway.

The girls, however, are really changing. They’ve formed tight cliques – very tight – and are not always nice. They’re trying teenager on for size. Trying to figure out who they’re going to be. And sometimes, it ain’t pretty.

When I was in junior high, I was nice.

Almost always.

Recently, someone asked me if I was ever mean back then. And I’m sorry to say that I was.

There was a boy in my class. He was tall – gawky – and pimply. He wore horned rimmed glasses and his hair was greasy and kinky. He was, however, very smart. And nice.

Someone – a girlfriend who aspired to the popular crowd – dared me to write him an anonymous love letter. I did. She told me to perfume it. I did. She told me to put it through the slots in his locker. I did.

It seemed like no big deal.

But I saw him find it. And he was all excited. He thought it was true. That some girl liked him – blemishes and all.

And that’s when the stomachache began. For days and then weeks, I agonized over what I’d done. I couldn’t undo it – or so I thought.

But it was the last time I blindly followed. So, sorry as I am that I did this heinous act, it helped me become who I am.

I hope that kid is a rich, happy astrophysicist with a nice complexion and a loving family. Or whatever his dream of happy was.

And I hope he got over the time that some be-atch was so unfeeling and mean to him in 7th grade.

Where’d the time go?

I wanted to re-post this to commemorate the beginning of the next 50 years for the Mildred Mindell Cancer Foundation.

May 16, 2006

It’s not just lunch.

Today I went to a luncheon. Go to many luncheons? Yeah, me neither. But every year, the organization to which my mother devotes much of her time has a big donor luncheon. This was their 49th such event. Let me back up a little. The organization is called Mildred Mindell Cancer Foundation. Mildred was the sorority advisor for a group of high school girls in Baltimore. She was well-loved. When Mildred was sick with cancer, my mother was one of the young nurses who helped care for her. So were lots of women that my mother knew back then and that I now know. Mildred died. And the girls from the sorority joined together and started this group in 1957. They started the organization to raise money. Sure, there were people raising money to find a cure and all that. Even back then. And moreso now. But these women decided that there were comforts and needs that cancer patients had that just weren’t handled. Wigs, medications, rides. You get the picture. And for many years now, these women have raised over four million dollars for just that.

We know from Bowling Alone and from all the nonprofit trends and volunteer trends out there that membership organizations are losing members and aging. And though the Mildred Mindell group has some young members, I’d venture to say that my mother is the median age. (I won’t say how old you are, Mom. But I’m 44 and she was a couple years out of nursing school when I was born!) So realistically, this organization should be faltering.

And I thought that they were. But this group, at 50 years old, is far from collapsing.

The luncheon was nice. We had chicken and tuna salad, nice bread and a great dessert. There were h’or doerves first. You could buy a glass of wine. (I did.) I like a lot of my mom’s friends, and the conversation was light and lively. And many of the women dragged, I mean brought, their daughters along.

Today, they awarded $106,100 for DVDs, for teen awareness programs, for support groups, for summer camp for kids with cancer (so they can be kids – not kids with cancer for a week), for medications, for wigs and turbans, for taxicabs to chemo, for pain medications that aren’t covered and just can’t be afforded, for a new infusion bay with internet access and HDTV.

A woman who had been president in 1985 passed away this year after a 15 year battle with cancer. Her husband and four grown daughters spoke. Words can’t express the emotion in the room. She had been a friend of all the women there. My mom, a board member for many years now (and president, 2004) presented the donations that had been made for my grandmother when she died last summer.

I’ve been involved with charity work for a long time. But this isn’t a charity group. This is a community of women so filled with love and empathy that there is no way it won’t continue to grow and prosper.

They are living their mission: Participate and cancer ends.

The surveys and studies can’t tell you everything. Sometimes, amazing people just buck the trends.

Just in time for mother’s day….

I finished a big project today, so by mid-afternoon I was ready to get some things done. I went to the central library to get the books the kids had requested and an audiobook for a roadtrip tomorrow. They didn’t have everything I needed, but checked and found out that the eastern branch had the rest…so I got back in the minivan and went to the other library. Score.

Our friends are moving today, so I wanted to take some snacks over there. Check. I got an email from a wine store we frequent that a really nice shiraz was in. So I zoomed over there and bought the last few bottles.

And I pulled up to the house at the same time as the school bus.

A successful run, yes?

No.

Max’s Young Author’s Tea was at 2:30. I missed it. Totally forgot.

So while they have the books they need and I cheered a friend, I disappointed my little guy.

Just in time for Mother’s Day.

Crybaby.

Ezer writes about Jon Bon Jovi. He’s a cutie. But compared to my Johnny? No contest.

I loved him in Crybaby. (They filmed it right behind my apartment and the lights kept me up all night for several days.) Remember Ed Wood? What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? Benny & Joon? Ahh, the early days.

And lately? Blow, Finding Neverland, and of course The Pirate movies. Sigh.

Next to Andrew, he’s the dreamiest.

I just found out he shares a birthday with Reed. Maybe I’ll make an extra cupcake…

Thirteen reasons to be happy.

1) I won big at poker last night. (Big is a relative term.)

2) I slept 4 hours last night. (Again, happy in a relative way!)

3) I got to help my mom with something today.

4) I spent a little time with my dad.

5) Andrew grilled salmon and pan fried brussel sprouts for me. Yum!

6) I’m having a wonderful glass of wine.

7) We have a quiet evening planned with the kids.

8) All the papers in my office are filed.

9) A friend gave me a bootleg Bonnie Raitt CD – Rainbow Room, Philly 1972. Wow.

10) Another friend lent me some great books this week. Now to find some reading time…

11) One of my nieces turned 17 today, another niece turns 10 and another niece turns 19 tomorrow! I love birthdays.

12) I got a funny postcard in the mail today from a friend. Fun!

13) My in-laws sent me the nicest Mothers’ Day card.

Insomnia.

Carlos H. Schenck, author of Sleep: The Mysteries, the Problems and the Solutions says that some time during adulthood 58 percent of Americans suffer with insomnia.

I was up all night. All night. Seriously, all night. I’ve been dealing with insomnia since college. For the past year, I’ve been on medication for it. Clearly, it doesn’t help all the time.

But back to Dr. Schenck. He writes in his book about all kinds of sleep disorders. Sleep walking, eating, talking… You know the drill. But here’s a new one.

Sexsomnia.

This is clearly more of a guy issue with 80 percent of documented cases being male.

Well, duh.

Let it go.

I spoke to someone the other day who told me that an oversight that happened in October bothered her enough that she needed to get it off her chest. She told me this on May 6th. Seven months later.

I’m not discounting how this mistake made her feel.

But I’m really sad that she held onto it for seven months.

Holding onto anger takes so much energy.

Maybe by dumping it on me, she was able to let it go.

Signs, signs, everywhere are signs.

We all have signs in life. Every day.
But how are we supposed to know what they mean?

Investigation.

I came home from the gym this morning to find Max on the living room floor.

Clearly he was engaged in some sort of investigation. (They’ve been walking around with magnifying glasses lately – mostly because they’ve discovered that they can make little fires outside. But that’s a story for another day.)

Doesn’t he look deep in thought?

“So, Max. What are you doing?”

“I’m checking this hairball to see who did it,” says Max.

“Well, who did?”

“Come here, Mom. I’ll show you. See the white hairs? It must have been Joe.”

Ewww.

A day at the museum.

Today, Reed and I went to the Geppi Entertainment Museum. He was invited because he (and the entire 3rd grade) wrote and illustrated a comic for a pilot program last year. Our school was one of 8 that participated. Reed was one of just a few whose art was included in the press kit for the press conference today that announced the Maryland initiative to use comics in the school curriculum. Evidently, the pilot program was a success.

So we (along with another kid and his mom) drove to Camden Yards where the museum is located. We had no idea what to expect. The museum is new, so we hadn’t been there before. And though we knew this was a press event and reception, that could mean anything. (I’m in the business, remember? There’s a big range of what this could have been!)

This is one of the displays. There were so many, I can’t tell you. And comic books galore. Really a lot. Really, really a lot. In fact, we saw a first edition of the first Superman comic. Reed told me it’s worth $500K. Every pop culture icon from my childhood was there. And lots from before my time and since my childhood. There was even a Julia lunchbox. And a Skipper doll. And Howdy Doody and the Hamburgler and… well, you gotta see this place.

Reed got to shake hands with Steve Geppi (who started the museum, owns Diamond Distributors and part of the the Orioles). It was cool. Geppi even signed a book I bought – so we can remember the day.

And here, Reed tests out his special powers…
It was just that kind of day.

Okay, had to include this. I had never heard of it, but it cracked me up. I can’t wait to go back to the museum with the rest of the family. There is so much there to see! (And hey, they gave us passes to come back – not to mention all the kids who came today walked away with comic books and other goodies!)