Cowboy ghost.

Some things never stop being funny. To me, at least.

And this is one of those things. It was Halloween 2000, I think. Reed wanted to be a cowboy. We had just gotten back from Montana, and Grandpa had gotten these great hats for all the boys.

As trick-or-treating time approached, Reed fell to pieces. He wanted to be a ghost. I’m not sure who – 5-1/2 year old Davis or 3-1/2 year old Reed – cut the holes in the sheet, but there you have it.

And to top it off, he did not want to be a ghost after all.

He wanted to be a cowboy ghost.

I’ve never seen a cuter one.

Now you see it. Now you don’t.

I know that I am too critical of my looks at times. And I care too much about my weight.

But the truth is, I think I look my age or younger. I think I look fine. I just wish I cared less.

So the other day, when I was sitting there minding my own business, imagine my joy when I looked down and noticed that my ankles were wrinkled.

Not baggy saggy. Not like a 90-year-old. But there were wrinkles where my foot and my leg come together. I guess it’d be a wrist if it was a hand. What do you call that anyway? Nevermind. I’m off-track here….

So I have these wrinkles. I was fascinated by them. When the heck did they get there? That day? The day before? Why hadn’t I ever noticed it before?

And then, my mind flashed back to my grandmother. Her legs were wrinkly there when the rubber meets the road too. Is this some crazy genetic disorder? Does it start in your forties?

I’ve always liked my calves. They are muscular, yet slim. I love putting on a great wedge or heels and letting that part of me show.

But now. Now that I know I have this ankle and foot-wrist infliction, what shall I do? Lucky for me, I suppose, that I love to wear boots.

I don’t mind eels except as meals.

I always love that Ogden Nash poem. But truthfully, I like eel as meals. Anyway…

Today, we climbed Barnegat Light House. After climbing 217 steps up (tiring) and down 217 steps (nauseating) … and then, we took a walk around the park. We saw some very tough-looking guys laughing and fishing.

One of the kids pointed to a fishing pole. What’s that snake doing? He asked.

Andrew answered, “That’s not a snake. That guy caught an eel.”

One guy with a long, long ponytail turned to us smiling broadly. He was holding back a laugh.

“The eel is the bait,” he said.

Boy did we laugh!

Thirteen Things to do at the Beach in the Fall.
(We are leaving in the morning! Whatever you do, don’t tell my clients!)

1. Read
2. Giggle
3. Eat fresh fish
4. Play Quiddler
5. Talk
6. Eat ice cream
7. Build sandcastles
8. Run
9. Fly a kite
10.Take a shower outside (yay!)
11.Stay up late laughing
12.Sleep late
13.Eat whale pancakes

Juggling so much work
Break time never seems to come
My head might explode

Boo!

I might have mentioned that I hate Halloween. You didn’t know that? Well, I do. And it irks me that Americans spend so much on this holiday. Why? Search me. It’s not my problem. Maybe I’m just the Halloween Scrooge.

Monkey see. Monkey do.

First some good news. Doc says that Doc#1 (from doc-in-the-box) misread the x-rays. He said my wrist is sprained. He added, however, that the part of the wrist in question does sometimes mask a fracture, so I should proceed with caution. He re-wrapped me – with a much more understated splint. Yay.

Now, back to the photos. Max doesn’t look so great, huh? Nothing like having some ace bandages around to spur the imagination! Maybe he’s just getting ready for Halloween!?

Aura .

See the beautiful bathroom? Like then color? It’s Morrel AF-125. And the paint is a new kind of Benjamin Moore…Aura. There are several cool things about this paint. First, you only need one coat. I know, I didn’t believe it either. But it’s true. Second, it doesn’t smell. Seriously. And when you are painting a small room like this, that is huge. And third, it dries really fast.

So you can probably imagine, I was pretty darned excited to try this out. Particularly because the room was previously neon lime green – extra glossy. The boys had seriously outgrown it and I could barely hold my lunch walking past it anymore.

So, I had yesterday morning to myself. The boys were at religious school until 1 :00 and Andrew went for a motorcycle ride.

I got my supplies together, did a little spackling and sanding. Then, I started taping. I wanted to do this right.

I put on my ripped Levi’s that I’ve had for 20 years and my tie-dye t-shirt that I bought at a Dead show at RFK back in the early 90′s. (I had bought one just like it for my grandfather but, alas, he never wore it.)

And I started painting.

I was really making progress. The room was coming together. I was excited.

I’m only 5’5″ (give or take a 1/2″, but who’s measuring?), so I definitely needed a step ladder to paint up to the ceiling. Cautiously, set the ladder in the tub and I could reach!

I stepped back to see my handiwork. I was quite proud.

Time for a Diet Pepsi.

As promised, the paint dried quickly. So I decided to take the tape off and then I’d clean up. One more trip up the ladder.

And then. It happened.

I fell.

And I fell at the weirdest angle. Since the ladder was in the tub, it slipped and fell. I tumbled out of the tub…onto the tile floor and into the paint pan. I caught myself with my right hand.

This thought flew through my head. “Shit. It hurts.”

And then, I thought about the paint. I wonder what it is on.

Turns out it was on my Levi’s and my tie-dye. Bummer.

I picked myself up and assessed the damage. The room was fine. I could clean up later. I needed an ice pack. I walked downstairs to fill a Ziplock bag. Wow, I can’t open the bag. Not a good sign. Use the teeth. Okay, there.

I need to sit down. But I’m covered with Morrel-colored paint. So I took my ice and went outside. I sat calmly on the grass and waited for Andrew to come home. He was due back any minute.

The fact that he was cooking dinner for 12 for my aunt’s 60th birthday (sorry Phyl! Now everyone knows! – and no one would guess by meeting you! You look mahvalous!) was a little stressful, but he wouldn’t hear of me going alone or calling my dad or a friend.

So even though Andrew was supposed to leave mid-afternoon to prepare for the dinner, he took me to the doc-in-the-box.

After a few tears and some waiting, the doctor took the x-rays. She said my scaphoid was fractured. Yikes. The tech put the hugest splint of all time. Seriously, look at yesterday’s post.

I’m here to tell you that it hurt. A lot.

I don’t know what a pro would charge to paint a bathroom. But I bet it would cost less than my medical bills will…

PS: Tomorrow I see a specialist. All I can say is that it is hard to type, talk on the phone, get dressed, go to the bathroom, eat, sleep, write, fill out medical forms…well, pretty much everything, is difficult with this huge splint on. I’m hoping that a) the doc says it’s fine and takes off the splint or b) he says he can make me more comfortable than this! Frankly, I wonder if they make it so awful so the next solution seems terrific – even if it’s not. We’ll see…

Even cowgirls get the blues.

Yahoo!

A few months back, I was selected to be a beta tester for new Yahoo! search technology. Not a huge Yahoo! fan, I thought I’d be the one who ripped it apart. I didn’t know how the test was going to work or how big or small it was.

The product, Search Assist, just launched. It’s totally integrated – you pull down the little tab after searching and it helps you hone in on your search. And it offers search suggestions as you type and shows you ways to expand your search with related concepts. Sounds like lots of other things, right? It’s not. And as much as I expected to hate it, I didn’t. I really like it. Really.

Back to the beta. It was a several step application process. I just like this sort of thing, so I hung in there. I expected to be the only professional searcher, but I was wrong. This elite group of 75 or so was amazing. Researchers, professors in the field, etc.

Once accepted into the test, they sent a welcome package. Aside from the marketing materials and instructions, it had a little mouse (very cute) and a wonderful flashlight. The best I’ve seen as a promo. A keeper.

We had a search task every day for 2 weeks. We had to post our answers and how we arrived at them. And we had to critique the tool – did it help? Hurt? Frustrate? Illuminate?

And every day, they chose a winner. Good prizes. A GPS, great digital camera…stuff like that. Talk about incentive to stay in the game.

I won a telescope. Just like the one in the picture. (Except mine is still in the box. I hope that changes this weekend.)

And yesterday, I got a package. A nice canvas beach bag with a huge beach towel, book of crossword puzzles for the beach, and a lei. Seriously, a lei.

There was nothing explaining the connection between a beach vacation and the beta test ending and the Search Assist launching, but it was lovely just the same.

My first reaction was that they really spent a lot of money nurturing these testers. But then I stopped to think about the collective billing power of 75 professionals. Let’s say that the average hourly billing is $75 per hour and that each person put 12 hours into this project. That’s $67,500 for their time. So I guess they got a bargain.

And truth be told, it was really fun. I’d do it again. And don’t tell Yahoo! but I’d do it for just a ‘thank you’…

BONUS: I just found out why they sent the beach package! To publicize Yahoo! Search Assist, they partnered with the genius folks at the New York Times to create a custom, search-enriched crossword puzzle. The puzzle has Search Assist integrated right into the clues to help out if you get stumped. And to make it even more fun, everyone who completes the puzzle before October 26th is eligible to enter for a chance to win one of five trips to Hawaii!

Check it out. Promise to take me on the trip if you win?