Walking past a State Farm insurance office yesterday, I saw a sign….

“This may be your last chance to talk to me about life insurance.”

I could not make that up.

The real Tao
Is not what you can see
The real boss
Is he who stays backstage
The real name
Is the one never used
The real thought
Is the one that goes unsaid

Nothing as it seems
Illusions
Illusions
Nothing as it seems

The real Tao
Is what goes on unknown
The real boss
Is the one who no one notices
The real name
Is the one forgotten
The real thought
Is the one in the back of your mind

Nothing as it seems
Illusions
Illusions
Nothing as it seems

The Tao is
What goes on in the clouds
The boss is
Who hides behind the curtain
The name is
The one which has no letters
The thought is
The one of nothing at all

Nothing as it seems
Illusions
Illusions
Nothing as it seems

written by someone who prefers to remain anonymous at this time.

I’ve been going to the boys’ basketball games for, I don’t know, maybe four years now? And I’m married to a guy who watches NCAA basketball religiously. (especially Duke, but please don’t hold that against me!)

So it seems fitting that at some point, it’ll sink in. (No pun intended.)

Today, I went to 2 games. And for the first time, I understood every call. I could even tell you the calls the ref missed.

It was a turning point in my basketball life.

I liken it to the phases of grief:

1. Shock is the first stage. I can’t believe I have to go sit through all those damn games.
2. Denial follows. I am not going. You go without me.
3. Bargaining. Fine, I’ll go if you go the grocery store for me. And to Target. Okay?
4. Guilt. They wanted me there. I wasn’t there. Oh, I feel awful.
5. Anger. I resent that I have to spend my weekends (not to mention every March) watching baskeball. It’s not fair.
6. Depression. I guess I have to go. And I have to sit there and pretend I care about Duke. But I don’t have to like it.
7. Acceptance and hope! I understand this game. And maybe I’ll even like it one day!

A friend of mine is pregnant. Today, I saw the 3-D sonogram. It was really cool, albeit a little creepy. Sorry, but it’s true.

A thousand thoughts ran through my head. As usual.

I remember so clearly being pregnant with my first. What a crazy time. It was so exciting and so scary – all at once. And though I thought I knew what was coming, I had absolutely, positively no idea.

I had friends with children. I had nieces and a nephew. But somehow, I didn’t really believe that those parents knew how *I* felt. Crazy.

And when Davis was born, I still had no understanding of what raising children was all about. I stumbled through and figured stuff out. Not that I listened to anyone, but somehow it worked out.

And then Reed was born. Now, I was in a pickle. This was tough. By this point, I had friends and a playgroup and support. I even had preschool coming soon. Davis was two years old. And I had an infant.

And then Max was born. Whatever I thought was hard before, ha! Davis was 3-1/2, Reed 1-1/2 and I had an infant.

But look at that picture. Aren’t they the cutest?

That was the first day that Max and I came home from the hospital. My parents couldn’t come out to Nebraska for the bris because my dad was sick. My sister-in-law came in their place – with the hugest salmon, brisket and who knows what else.

She cooked and froze and prepared and….oh, my. Between her and my wonderful friends, the bris was a great occasion – even though it was Thanksgiving day.

Does this post have a point? No, not really. I’m just reminiscing. Thinking about what I thought it would be like now. Not like this. It’s harder and better and different than I imagined.

And I guess that’s what I’d tell someone who’s preparing for her first baby. What you think it will be, it’s not. So stop thinking. And enjoy every minute of it.

It goes so fast.

I’m a tee pee. I’m a wigwam. I’m a tee pee. I’m a wigwam. I’m a tee pee. I’m a wigwam.

Relax, you’re two tents.

Yes, I am tense.

I’m thinking of a nice cup of chamomile tea. Or a Valium.

What do YOU do to relax?

But all I could think about was who thought that color combination for basketball costumes was a good idea? I mean, check this out.

DJ Kirby tagged me to do this post. We’re just back from a weekend in upstate NY, so this is a great excuse for an easy entry!

The rules: Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better. Don’t forget to read the archived post and leave comments.

Here goes:
My choice post for: Family

My choice post for: Friend

My choice post for: Myself and My Obsession (okay, I added the obsession part)

My choice post for: My love

My choice post for: Anything I like

I am inflicting this tag on: You know what? No one. But I’d love it if some of you would do it. Zandria? Kristin? Cruisin? Ezer? Steakbellie? Jenne? Maven? Bueller? Join in!

My blog is 3 years old today. I’ve published 856 posts. Being a bit of an infogeek, I thought I’d dig in and see what’s what…

# times I’ve written the word:

Kids 653
Andrew 604
Love 602
Friend 594
Mom 313
Boys 196
Believe 135
Book 99
Reed 94
Food 89
Max 80
Perfect 79
Phone 79
Digress 69
Davis 67
Dad 54
Music 53
Work 41
Sleep 41
Restaurant 39
Vacation 27
Flowers 12
Balance 7

From this, I could infer some some interesting things. But I won’t. Because even I know that statistics can lie. So to say that I care about the kids more than Andrew would be outrageous. Or that I liked Reed more than Davis – absurd.

On the other hand, it is interesting to see that family, love and friends top my list. Now that seems like a good research study to me.

These miniatures, a crib with a molded baby, and a rocker were in a box with my doll collection. They are marked, in script, with The Enchanted Forest, a fairy tale-themed amusement park that has been closed to the general public since the early 1990s. We used to go there as kids.

The guy who built a lot of the cool rides and stuff (like the Shoe for the Old Lady and the Teacup Ride) had a workshop right next door to where my dad worked. It was really neat.

Anyway, I’m not sure how I ended up with these miniatures, but they made me smile.