5:30 a.m. workout.

Gym stinks to high hell
Smells like sweaty two-ton man
Holy shit, it’s me

Au pair.

On our block, there is a family with a lovely au pair. She’s 25 and getting married next month to a guy she met since she’s been here. She’ll have her associates degree any day now and will work toward her bachelors…. Really, she’s a great girl.

So we’re talking this morning at the bus stop. Turns out I’m older than her mother. Yikes. It’s always hard to hear ‘you look great for your age’ but I was ready for it. What she said, instead, was sweet. ‘I hope I look as good as you. You look so beautiful.’

Nice way to start the day, no?

mothersday2008 – the event.

You will NEVER guess what my guys did for me today!

No, they didn’t get me a Ferrari. I didn’t even get a ride in one. In fact, I never left the house.

Well, that’s not true, now that I think of it. I did go to work out with Cyrus this morning. Way too damn early, I might add.

But seriously, my day.

80 percent of it sucked. I worked. I sat at this computer, and though I happen to like the computer itself, it was pretty depressing to be working all day on Mothers’ Day. I have a huge deadline this week and if I don’t keep pushing on, it will not get done.

But I did not sit down here at the trusty computer after working so much of the day to complain. I sat down to tell you about the 20 percent that rocked.

Andrew starting the ragu by 8:00 am. The house smelled amazing by 10:00. Seriously. Amazing.

The boys went to religious school early – while I was at the gym – and though they weren’t all that thrilled, it was peaceful for the entire morning. Nice to have peace and quiet to think about food, right?

The aroma of the cake baking was a little distracting, but I’m tough. I plugged away on my statistical report.

I got a hug from each kid every hour on the hour once they got home. Just the breaks I needed. At 6:00, Andrew opened the wine. He served it with the prosciutto wrapped asparagus, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

I know what is next. The main event. The dinner. I know we’re having artichokes because I saw Andrew cleaning them. My favorite!

And I smell garlic bread in the oven. I’m getting weak.

The boys set the table with a cloth and everything.

Did I mention the arugula salad with the shaved parmesan reggiano, fleur de sel? OMG. The kids gave me Godiva chocolates. Cyrus says thank you. No seriously, I love that stuff.

And Andrew and the boys gave me a nice gift card for Nordstrom. I’m thinking Trish McEvoy.…

And now? I’m looking forward to a night of cuddling after dinner.

I love my life.

new slogan?

Your Slogan Should Be

Blanche. What’s the Worst that Can Happen?

So I saw this slogan generator. Had to try it. Kind of like you have to smell that sour milk. Anyway, nothing ventured….nothing ventured.

Have a great weekend.

More than an handful?

Okay, I know that’s a guy thing to say/think. But tonight, I was hanging with some girlfriends and the subject came up. Here we were. Five women from the early thirties to the mid (okay mid/late but who is counting?) forties. Five women from 32AA to 36D.

We’re in different degrees of happiness/acceptance of our breast-size-lot-in-life. Some of use fondly remember larger times – before all the kids – and some have always been this way.

It was a fine, lively conversation. One that stemmed from the discussion of one of the daughters entering puberty. (YIKES!)

The challenge I was given as I walked/ran to the door…

“So what ARE those advantages of being flat-chested to which you refer?”

Stutter, stutter….

So here is my list. What is great about being flat-chested. Especially for you-know-who-you-are, you new-blog-reader-you….

1) you can lay on the beach on your stomach
2) you don’t need to buy those $50 jogging bras
3) you sag less
4) you weigh less (boobs are heavy!)
5) no danger of a black eye when running
6) you know those great sleek tank swim suits? enough said.

And to the person who inspired this post? You are beautiful – and you wouldn’t be who you are any other way!

Even if you did take my money tonight….

Mitchell sent me a joke.

Everyone knows I hate getting email jokes. Mitchell, did I forget to tell you? But I really liked this. In fact, I cackled. Not snickered. Not just laughed. I cackled.

Too much of a build-up? Here goes…

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients
were shouting, 13….13….13.

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and
looked through to see what was going on.

Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting 14….14….14

Thought for the day.

My dad’s friend Oscar sends me jokes, political commentary and all sorts of things via email. Some are serious groaners. And I admit (sorry!) that sometimes when I’m really busy, I don’t read them all.

Yesterday, he forwarded me a letter he received from his daughter. I’ve never met her, but heard a lot about her. Most of all, she is the founder and executive director of Art With a Heart, a nonprofit organization that provides interactive, hands-on art activities to disadvantaged families and children, and to people with developmental and physical challenges. Cool, huh?

Anyway, I’m reprinting with permission (thanks Randi).

So last night I had the good fortune of doing a ride along for 8 hours with a Baltimore City police officer in the Northwest district (Pimlico, Park Heights and Belvedere…for those that do not know there area…it is not so good, in fact, …there is one block on Park Heights that is considered the worst in the City…I learned this last night!!) I was nervous all day and then once I got fitted for my bullet proof vest, I felt SO much better!!!

It was just me and this policeman, he was white (very) with red hair…he has been in this district for 8 years and has a lot of repect in the community…the kids call him “Reds” (when they are not shooting at each other!)

The afternoon started with an arrest of 4 men…which was nothing compared to the the ride to get to the scene…85 mph down Reisterstown Rd…sure made Andrew’s driving look reasonable.

We got called to 2 assaults…one where the most adorable 3 year old was standing on the porch…as we approached she said, “That bitch came right up here on our porch and hit my momma in the face” TRUE STORY!!! The other assault was where a women hit a man in the face with a pipe…he had a huge knot on his face…lovely women!

Speeding to the scene of an armed suspect was pretty memorable as I watched the officer writing with both hands (pen in one and notes on the other) at 80 miles an hour…all I was doing (besides sweating) was trying figure out how far I could curl up under the dashboard. This was only to be out done by our arrival (the first of course) at a really bad car accident…After this…I was so done and we had 4 more hours!!!

Of course, there is much, much more to the experience, like him pulling the car up to a kid and questioning him right on the street…”did you stab that kid…who did?” FOR REAL!! What a world!

Frankly, I am in awe of these men and women and it is unbelievable what they do each and every day! Maybe they are all crazy…he definitely had some Rambo in him, but to me he was a hero…all of the men and women I met last night were heroes.

Sing. Sing a song.

Make it happy to last the whole day long….

My family and I spent a long weekend in Omaha, Nebraska. There were lots of wonderful things about the trip.

• We spent tons of time with our close friends
• We ate really good food
• We were spiritually enriched
• We ate really good food
• We spent lots of time with our close friends
• We ate really good food

And we had the joy of hearing our friends’ children sing. I mean sing. Really. They sang together. And separately. With the band at the party Saturday night, the 13-year old blew us away.

You could hear the joy. And you could feel it.

It will stay with me for a long, long time.

I am so outta here!

I’m packing my bags and I’m leaving. We’re going to Omaha for a bat mitzvah of a very special, amazingly wonderful girl. I’m unplugging and have serious plans to relax and enjoy the trip.

So I’ll see y’all next week!