Sometimes things look just fine on the surface. People seem happy. They post their barbecues, their new shoes, pithy comments. And everything looks fine. Better than fine.
You know you’re guilty. I know I am. We choose what to show the world.
No harm in that.
Wouldn’t want to air our dirty laundry, right?
And most of the time, it’s fine. Or at least it’s not a problem.
Or is it? Is the pressure we put on ourselves to appear fine – or better than fine – healthy? And what about the fabulous people who care about us and would be support if they knew what was really brewing. Are we keeping them at arms length?
Are we just perpetuating isolation?
PS: Mom, I’m fine. Just in case you were worried.
omg, i am so glad you left that PS for your mom, I just had my hand on the phone…
Love you and this post.
Let’s face it, there is just nothing fun about posting hemorrhoids, spousal friction and money problems. (i know, odd choice of issues).
Bottom line: we package ourselves for the world and share what is fun. The not so fun stuff is for the friends who have their hands on the phone when they read something that worries them.
Oh Amy, you’re so sweet. You’re right. So right. And I keep my hand near enough to the phone in case…
It seems like all or nothing sometimes. Either I hear all the gory details of acquaintances’ lives or their lives seem way better than mine.
But yeah… so much of what matters is put on the back-burner in favor of… appearances? other people? social pressure? fear of stigmatization? All of the above, I think.
Yes, I think you make a good point. There are lots of reasons we selectively share… thanks!
I was!
No need – all is well! xo
sometimes pretending that things are fine can feel safer than facing potential judgment, despite the knowledge that reaching out is healthier.