Happy judgment-free holidays to you.
Posted: December 23, 2011 Filed under: family, girlfriends, kids, memories, mood, parenting, work 8 Comments »I came across a post I wrote 6 years ago today. And it still resonates. I mean, really. What the heck is balance anyway? My boys were 7, 8, and 10 at the time. A lot has changed in our world.
But not that much.
Parts of Speech
[originally posted 12/23/05]
Judging others is a dangerous hobby. Without all the facts (and you never have all the facts) it is impossible to understand someone’s decisions, motives, choices on all fronts. Now that doesn’t mean that we can’t relate to others’ issues, challenges, etc. Two things I’ve learned over the years come to mind:
1) You don’t know what happens in someone else’s house.
2) Never say “I never would…” in reference to someone else’s choices. You might one day when faced with the same situation.
I’ve been stewing about something that happened the other day. In order to let it go, I’ve decided to write about it. I drove some kids (including some of my own) to an after-school class. One of the kids was unable to carry his stuff in, so I dropped them all off, parked the car, and, sans coat, trekked across the parking lot to bring the kid his stuff. I was cold. I had a sick kid at home I wanted to get back to. My father had a procedure that day and I couldn’t go sit with my mom while she waited because of my kid at home who needed me. My work was behind schedule due to the same sick kid and the construction noise at the house was really getting to me and to that same sick kid, who cried about his head hurting for hours. You get the picture – the day was not a cake walk. (I always wanted to say cake walk – I hope I used it correctly!)
Walking into the school, I ran into a friend. Not a “hang out all the time” friend, but someone I like and socialize with occasionally. After saying hello, she took a hard look at me and said:
Balance is a verb.
It felt like a punch in the stomach. She has balance so never looks harried? I am unbalanced? I am incapable of managing my life? What exactly was this wisdom she was (unsolicited, I might add) presenting to me? She had no idea what I had done for the past month, let alone for the day. I was really irritated. How superior.
After a day I asked a close friend, who I respect tremendously, what she thought. She said:
Bitch is a verb too.
Happy Erev Chanukah. Merry Christmas Eve. I’m planning on a judgment-free holiday.
Night #3
Posted: December 22, 2011 Filed under: family, memories 4 Comments »
When the boys were little, we had a part-time nanny named Sarah. She was wonderful and I was so grateful for her.
I believe she made these candles with the boys in 2001, though it might have been 2000. They’re colored cellophane and construction paper. Nothing fancy, but very clever.
Obviously, I liked them since I still have them. Every year, we put them up, one candle at a time. And they make me smile.
I wonder if Sarah imagines that we still embrace the wonderful projects she did with the boys all those years ago?
It helps to get it off your chest.
Posted: December 21, 2011 Filed under: family, Food, memories 4 Comments »
Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/daveg147
Those of you who know me know that I seriously dislike (read: despise or abhor) mustard.
It’s the smell. Oh, and the taste.
And while it’s not always been easy – as mustard is pretty darn ubiquitous – I’ve managed to keep it out of my mouth for the most part, save a vinaigrette now and again.
But life hasn’t always been this sunny.
And today, I confronted my demons.
When I was a kid, my mother used to make doctored baked beans. That means that she took a can of Heinz and added stuff to it to make it taste better. Or so she said. When directly confronted, she told me that there was no mustard used in the creation of this delicacy.
But it tasted like mustard to me. And one day I caught her.
Fast forward a bit and there’s the crab imperial. Another denial, but I knew better. There was definitely mustard in that dish. No doubt.
Today, more than 35 years later, I told her I knew what she’d done. And how it has affected my life. How I may never recover. And you know what? She doesn’t remember at all. (Though she did apologize.)
Of course, she is forgiven. (And I hope she realizes this post is all in fun.) But it’s a great reminder that our kids know what we’re up to and they’re hip to our game. (Always wanted to say that.)
So don’t lie to your kids. Not even about mustard.
50 lessons and 50 blessings.
Posted: October 5, 2011 Filed under: cooking, diet, family, friends, girlfriends, memories, mood, morals, pain, parenting, procrastination, Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel, Uncategorized, work Leave a comment »What is it about big milestones that make us want to make lists?
I was planning to write about 50 lessons I’ve learned over the years and tell you about 50 blessings in my life.
I’m sure I’ve learned more than 50 things and I can assure you I have more than 50 wonderful things and people in my life.
Instead, I’m going to go all minimalist here.
I’m grateful for all the people who have taught me anything – good or bad.
I’m grateful for the people who love me. And for the people I love. I think there’s a lot of overlap there.
I’m grateful for knowledge. And for being told I’m wrong so I can try harder.
I’m over the moon grateful for my sons. And my husband.
And for the ones who’ve stuck by me no matter what.
I’m thankful for the 9am phone calls. I’m thankful for the peace in my home.
I’m thankful for my work, which I love. And the clients who trust me.
It never occurred to me that I’d be 50 one day.
Crazy, I know.
But here I am.
And I’m grateful for where I’ve been and I can’t wait to see where I go.
What a difference 11 years makes.
Posted: August 30, 2011 Filed under: family, memories, parenting, the boys 2 Comments »I posted this on Facebook today. Someone asked about recreating the scene today.
The boys. July, 2000.
Well, we don’t have the hats. They’d be way too small anyway.
This is as close as I could get.
The boys. August, 2011.
In the 12 seconds I had to set it up and shoot it, I think I did okay.
Gifts.
Posted: August 14, 2011 Filed under: family, memories 2 Comments »
My father’s cousin passed away last week. She was in her nineties. I hadn’t seen her since I was very young, though my parents had kept in touch with her and visited her in New Mexico.
I really don’t remember much about her. But I heard stories all my life. She was well-loved.
Most of all, I think of her every time I buy a gift. Why, you ask?
Legend has it, she gave the most interesting gifts. Things you didn’t need, but that you loved.
Like this sterling silver pin cushion that she gave my grandmother many years ago. (And yes, it’s terribly tarnished and I wanted to clean it for this photo, but I ran out of silver polish!)
I feel special every time I use it – every time I look for a needle.
It’s so decadent, it just makes me smile.
Shock, review, and happiness.
Posted: July 24, 2011 Filed under: family, home, kids, random, the boys 1 Comment »Shock
Notice anything strange about this soap? Like the fact that it is unused? Yes, folks. I just unpacked this from one of my sons upon his return from 4 weeks at camp. All I can say is that I hope he gave the shampoo double-duty. Otherwise, ewwww. Just ewwww.
Review
I was sent a full size sample of the NEW Downy UNSTOPABLES™ from Vocalpoint, so fter researching to be sure it was safe in a high efficiency washer, I decided to give it the test of all tests. 
Yes, I’m talking about the musty, filthy, disgusting clothes the boys brought home from camp.
I’m not big on a lot of scents, so I started slowly. The first load came out smelling amazing! So, I tried a little more in the next. And the next. And now, I might be hooked.
Yes, I’m still going to need to burn some of those clothes. They may smell fresh, but they’re never (and I mean never) going to get clean. But the clean clothes? They’re both clean and fresh and the boys’ rooms smell better than ever since I hung the clothes up in their closets. Win/win.
I am a happy mom.
Happiness
But the real reason for my extreme happiness? We’re all back together again!
Good practice?
Posted: July 1, 2011 Filed under: family, kids, Spouse 2.0, the boys 6 Comments »
Photo credit to "greensmoke"
Here I am on day 4 of no kids in the house.
And it feels like it’s been quiet for months.
It’s not even that my guys are so loud (though they are sometimes), it’s just that there’s activity. Laughing.
And please don’t get me wrong! Andrew and I are laughing – and we’re spending some great time together. It’s so odd, though, making plans and going out with no consideration of the kids. We have no kids! Not for 3 more weeks.
3 more weeks. Wow.
They’re rooms are neat. Sheets changed. Bathroom mats and towels fresh. Laundry folded and put away. All I really need to do for them is write letters. Oh, and remember to mail them.
So what will I do with all this time?
I daydreamed about organizing my iPhotos. (I have thousands of pix.) Cleaning the address book on my computer. Categorizing my iTunes. Being crafty.
What have I done so far? Worked. Relaxed outside. Watched The Voice final. Shared a really nice bottle of wine with Andrew. Burger night at Twist & Turn. Picked up veggies and fruit from our CSA.
At this moment, I am giving myself permission to reduce my expectations for accomplishing anything (except work, of course) and use this time to unwind and enjoy my husband.
And hoping to take a little just me time, too.
Maybe this is good practice for the future.
What would you do?
Posted: May 26, 2011 Filed under: family, kids 15 Comments »I need some guidance. Stat!
My youngest son was invited to a bar mitzvah party with a sports theme and the kids are all wearing jerseys. He didn’t have one and asked for a Redskins jersey.
With everything going on around here (and it’s a lot!), the task of finding a jersey for him ended up on my list. No problem.
I went to Kohl’s and Target first. Since it’s baseball season, you can imagine that I didn’t fare well.
So, instead of running around town for another several hours or more, I went online.
Ebay. I love Ebay.
I found a ton! I bought the one that appeared to be the best quality for the lowest price.
It arrived yesterday. Great quality. Price tag of $229 still attached. (Not too shabby since I paid $30.)
With pride, I held it up for the kid and my hub to see.
Their reactions shocked me. They were not all “wow, you’re great and what a deal!”
They were more like “WTF.”
I didn’t know! Would you let him wear it or rush out and find another? Help me!
(and if you’re cluless like me, you can read about this guy here.)
