A non-conventional anniversary.
Posted: April 22, 2012 Filed under: Spouse 2.0 7 Comments »
Tuesday is my anniversary.
I know what you’re thinking. Andrew and I got married on October 2, 1993. (You were thinking that, right?)
But April 24 is the anniversary of my wedding to my first husband. (If you’re asking yourself if I had a first husband, the answer is yes.)
And then you’d be asking yourself, why the heck Wendy would be celebrating the anniversary of her marriage to her first (and clearly mismatched) husband. And that would be quite a valid question.
The answer to that is…of course I’m not celebrating that. Come on. Give me some credit, here. I wish the guy all the best. Really, I do. But he and I were about the worst match ever in the universe. Not kidding. He didn’t have the (ahem) appreciation for me that Andrew has. Or maybe he was intimated. Just saying. (Oh crap. Do you think he reads my blog? He might. If so, hi Mark.)
But back to the anniversary. Tuesday is the anniversary of the actual divorce decree of that first (and ill-fated) marriage.
I know. How crazy that the marriage started and ended on April 24.
Very poetic, if you ask me.
I am grateful for the divorce. Grateful for the get that allowed me to marry Andrew in a Jewish ceremony. Basically, a get is a Jewish divorce. It’s a release for the woman to move on. Seriously. It says, ”You are hereby permitted to all men.” Not kidding. And true story: I did not date all men after the divorce. Only about 30. And then I met Andrew. Andrew and I were married a couple years later.
A quick aside – I am very unsure if the rabbi who married Andrew and me actually did all that was required. He was quite old and not well. It was extraordinarily fast, too. So, I’ve wondered over the years if he forgot some of the important parts. I suppose it’s not particularly important, though. We’re legally married.
It’s obvious that I can’t stay focused here. I want to say that an old friend is getting married next week – to the woman she has been committed to for about a thousand years. I am so happy for them I can barely contain myself. Congratulations, Susan & Kay. I wish you every happiness.
So marriage.
It’s a hot topic. I believe in marriage. I do.
I believe that it’s possible for two people to work their butts off to stay moving in the same direction. To cherish the best of each other. To suck it up and deal with the worst of each other.
I believe in forever. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that forever is the Cinderella kind of forever but I am saying that forever is my goal and that my husband and father of my amazing sons is stuck with me come hell or high water.
And I like it that way.
I’ll make a quiet toast on Tuesday like I do every April 24. And I’ll thank my lucky stars.
Below Sea Level.
Posted: April 10, 2012 Filed under: kids, lessons, love, Spouse 2.0 2 Comments »I feel so lucky.
We’re just back from a nine-day family vacation. Nine days. And my teenagers actually wanted to go.
I josh you not.
While the trip started out a bit rocky. Rocky, as in I vomited all the way from the TSA line at National Airport through a layover in Milwaukee and onward to San Francisco. Rocky, as in the flight attendant on the second flight asked Andrew if I was a nervous flyer. He said, “No, she’s just sick.” Bet that made her day. And rocky, as in I missed the first 36 hours of our San Fran visit.
But Andrew and the boys kept on ticking. I had a great and comfortable place to rest (go VRBO!) and they saw the Golden Gate Bridge and Sausalito (which they fondly call Sausagelito). And they saw the SF Museum of Modern Art. And rode cable cars. And such.
I totally rallied for Alcatraz.
It was so interesting and a beautiful day. We were so happy to be together. It was, for me, the start of a wonderful vacation.
Did you know that there are still three Alcatraz prisoners alive? All are still in prison somewhere. Andrew is really into the show Alcatraz. I think it’s just creepy. But, I digress.
Dinner that night? So fun. We went to Range. And yes, my sons were the only non-adults there. But no one seemed to mind. They’re as tall as the adults, anyway. And they know their way around a nice restaurant. It was all good.
The next 4 days were incredible. Monterey. Yosemite. (We stayed in a Caboose and had fabulous Cajun food. Not kidding.) Sequoia.
And Death Valley. Very fun “resort” in Death Valley. We met the nicest people there. And honestly, I think that I slept better there than any other night. It was just so peaceful and we were so darn happy. After dinner, there was nothing to do. I mean nothing. No Internet. No TV. No cell service.
We bought a 40 at the convenience store (for the adults, obviously) and some snacks for all. And we played poker. All of us in one room, laughing and playing cards. So fun.
And the next morning, we headed into the park and saw the sites. We hiked. We took pix. (Okay, that was me.) and we went to the lowest place in North America.
We look happy, no?
After a full and exhausting day, we headed east to Las Vegas.
And the adventure continued.
There are a million details I left out. Like the Artichoke Capital of the World. Like the funny Mexican restaurant in Laughlin. Or Laughlin, in general.
I can’t express how happy I am that we had a week of laughs. A week of talking. A week of experiencing. A week I’ll never forget.
My boys are growing up so fast. Davis will be applying to colleges soon. And as of next fall, they’ll all be in high school. No more middle school. No more elementary school. No more preschool.
It’s shocking.
But it’s wonderful.
I’m so grateful. (Not for the throwing up part. But for every other minute of my life.)
The last time…
Posted: January 17, 2012 Filed under: Spouse 2.0 2 Comments »
Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/harrykeely
The last time Andrew and I took off for an overnight in D.C. It was warm and beautiful. We had dinner at Komi. We took a Segway tour. We stayed at at a Kimpton Hotel. I love Kimpton.
In a couple weeks, we’re going again.
For no reason.
Just to get a night away and be a couple.
Of course, it’ll be cold this time. But, again, we’ll stay in a Kimpton (a different one this time) and again, we’ll eat great food and sleep late.
It amazes me how hard it is to get time alone together now that the kids are older. When they were young, we had a standing sitter – every other Saturday – and we’d go out.
But now, there’s driving to do, places for the boys to be. Kids here. It’s just way more complicated. Way more.
We all know that to be a good couple, you need time together without the kids. And sitting together in the stands at wrestling tournaments does not count.
50 lessons and 50 blessings.
Posted: October 5, 2011 Filed under: cooking, diet, family, friends, girlfriends, memories, mood, morals, pain, parenting, procrastination, Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel, Uncategorized, work Leave a comment »What is it about big milestones that make us want to make lists?
I was planning to write about 50 lessons I’ve learned over the years and tell you about 50 blessings in my life.
I’m sure I’ve learned more than 50 things and I can assure you I have more than 50 wonderful things and people in my life.
Instead, I’m going to go all minimalist here.
I’m grateful for all the people who have taught me anything – good or bad.
I’m grateful for the people who love me. And for the people I love. I think there’s a lot of overlap there.
I’m grateful for knowledge. And for being told I’m wrong so I can try harder.
I’m over the moon grateful for my sons. And my husband.
And for the ones who’ve stuck by me no matter what.
I’m thankful for the 9am phone calls. I’m thankful for the peace in my home.
I’m thankful for my work, which I love. And the clients who trust me.
It never occurred to me that I’d be 50 one day.
Crazy, I know.
But here I am.
And I’m grateful for where I’ve been and I can’t wait to see where I go.
Lucky.
Posted: September 7, 2011 Filed under: random, Spouse 2.0, the boys 2 Comments »
I read a lot of blog posts every day. And a lot of articles and tweets and Facebook updates. Needless to say, it can be overwhelming.
Much of what I’ve read the past few days have made me stop and think about who I am online versus who I am to my family and closest friends. Am I doing right by the ones who love me most of all?
It’s easy to get caught up. To play that one more game of WWF. To read that last post, to laugh at that thread.
I want to be in my life.
You see, I have a wonderful life. Amazing and independent and thinking teenage boys. A husband who worships the ground I walk on. Friends who would never ask why and just show.
I’m not a religious person, but I look forward to the Jewish New Year. It’s a time to reflect on the mistakes of the year passed and look ahead to do better. I appreciate that time. To stop. To think.
September is a time of transition. From summer to fall. From happy-go-lucky to school.
And I’m ready to thoughtfully move into the next season. But I secretly yearn for the next summer to roll around.
Shake it, baby, shake it.
Posted: August 23, 2011 Filed under: kids, Spouse 2.0 Leave a comment »The earthquake today was crazy. We all made a quick bee-line for the basement. We waited until we were sure it was over. The boys were a little scared. It was a little scary.
But I admit, I was so glad we were all together.
Counting the minutes.
Posted: July 31, 2011 Filed under: friends, girlfriends, Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel 2 Comments »
His & Hers.
Posted: July 18, 2011 Filed under: Spouse 2.0 2 Comments »
We’ve been alone for three weeks now. No kids. Just me and the hub.
It’s a little too quiet.
On the other hand…
I’m living without a schedule. Dinner is whenever. I can finish what I’m working on. Now. I can play Words with Friends. Now.
And please don’t misunderstand, we’ve had some great “date nights.”
Dinner at Restaurant Eve. Lunch at Volt. Antiquing in Frederick. (Looking, not buying.) Midnight in Paris. Artscape. A night at Rehobeth Beach with dinner at Henlopen Oyster House.
I’m exhausted (and full!) just thinking about it.
Five.
More.
Days.
Can’t wait to see my boys.
Good practice?
Posted: July 1, 2011 Filed under: family, kids, Spouse 2.0, the boys 6 Comments »
Photo credit to "greensmoke"
Here I am on day 4 of no kids in the house.
And it feels like it’s been quiet for months.
It’s not even that my guys are so loud (though they are sometimes), it’s just that there’s activity. Laughing.
And please don’t get me wrong! Andrew and I are laughing – and we’re spending some great time together. It’s so odd, though, making plans and going out with no consideration of the kids. We have no kids! Not for 3 more weeks.
3 more weeks. Wow.
They’re rooms are neat. Sheets changed. Bathroom mats and towels fresh. Laundry folded and put away. All I really need to do for them is write letters. Oh, and remember to mail them.
So what will I do with all this time?
I daydreamed about organizing my iPhotos. (I have thousands of pix.) Cleaning the address book on my computer. Categorizing my iTunes. Being crafty.
What have I done so far? Worked. Relaxed outside. Watched The Voice final. Shared a really nice bottle of wine with Andrew. Burger night at Twist & Turn. Picked up veggies and fruit from our CSA.
At this moment, I am giving myself permission to reduce my expectations for accomplishing anything (except work, of course) and use this time to unwind and enjoy my husband.
And hoping to take a little just me time, too.
Maybe this is good practice for the future.
January 8th
Posted: January 8, 2011 Filed under: Spouse 2.0 4 Comments »1642 Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy.
1815 U.S. forces led by Gen. Andrew Jackson defeated the British in the Battle of New Orleans during the War of 1812.
1935 Rock ‘n’ roll singer Elvis Presley was born in Tupelo, Miss.
1959 Charles De Gaulle was inaugurated as president of France’s Fifth Republic.
1964 President Lyndon B. Johnson declared a war on poverty.
1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and North Vietnam resumed near Paris.
1976 Chinese premier Chou En-lai died at age 78.
1982 AT&T settled the Justice Department’s antitrust lawsuit against it by agreeing to divest itself of the 22 Bell System companies.
1987 The Dow Jones industrial average closed above 2,000 for the first time, ending the day at 2,002.25.
1991 Andrew and I had our first date.
1996 Former French president Francois Mitterrand died at age 79.
1998 Ramzi Yousef, the mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, was sentenced in New York to life in prison.
2007 A Moroccan man convicted of aiding three of the four pilots who committed the 9/11 attacks was sentenced by a German court to the maximum 15 years in prison.
2008 U.S. Army Lt. Col. Steven L. Jordan, the only officer charged in the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, was cleared of criminal wrongdoing.
So? Did you catch that? On this day in 1991, Andrew and I had our first date.
The rest is history.
