Why?
Posted: January 12, 2012 Filed under: family, parenting, the boys 2 Comments »
photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/doctor-a
I was checking email. Voicemail. After all, it was during work hours and, though I hadn’t stopped for lunch, I was feeling guilty for taking the half hour to attend to the boys’ dental needs.
I heard the dad say, “I have too much work to do.”
And then, the girl’s whisper stopped me in my tracks.
Why don’t you just tell them, “no?”
And then, without even looking up, he answered. His response was like a punch in the stomach. “I’m responsible for everything. You just don’t understand.”
And I think he was right. She didn’t. She sat, staring ahead. Holding back tears.
I am not going to sit here (while my kids want my attention) and say that I won’t ignore them, work too hard, take on too much.
I probably will.
But this will stick with me. And I’ll keep working on being more present and more available.
50 lessons and 50 blessings.
Posted: October 5, 2011 Filed under: cooking, diet, family, friends, girlfriends, memories, mood, morals, pain, parenting, procrastination, Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel, Uncategorized, work Leave a comment »What is it about big milestones that make us want to make lists?
I was planning to write about 50 lessons I’ve learned over the years and tell you about 50 blessings in my life.
I’m sure I’ve learned more than 50 things and I can assure you I have more than 50 wonderful things and people in my life.
Instead, I’m going to go all minimalist here.
I’m grateful for all the people who have taught me anything – good or bad.
I’m grateful for the people who love me. And for the people I love. I think there’s a lot of overlap there.
I’m grateful for knowledge. And for being told I’m wrong so I can try harder.
I’m over the moon grateful for my sons. And my husband.
And for the ones who’ve stuck by me no matter what.
I’m thankful for the 9am phone calls. I’m thankful for the peace in my home.
I’m thankful for my work, which I love. And the clients who trust me.
It never occurred to me that I’d be 50 one day.
Crazy, I know.
But here I am.
And I’m grateful for where I’ve been and I can’t wait to see where I go.
Lucky.
Posted: September 7, 2011 Filed under: random, Spouse 2.0, the boys 2 Comments »
I read a lot of blog posts every day. And a lot of articles and tweets and Facebook updates. Needless to say, it can be overwhelming.
Much of what I’ve read the past few days have made me stop and think about who I am online versus who I am to my family and closest friends. Am I doing right by the ones who love me most of all?
It’s easy to get caught up. To play that one more game of WWF. To read that last post, to laugh at that thread.
I want to be in my life.
You see, I have a wonderful life. Amazing and independent and thinking teenage boys. A husband who worships the ground I walk on. Friends who would never ask why and just show.
I’m not a religious person, but I look forward to the Jewish New Year. It’s a time to reflect on the mistakes of the year passed and look ahead to do better. I appreciate that time. To stop. To think.
September is a time of transition. From summer to fall. From happy-go-lucky to school.
And I’m ready to thoughtfully move into the next season. But I secretly yearn for the next summer to roll around.
What a difference 11 years makes.
Posted: August 30, 2011 Filed under: family, memories, parenting, the boys 2 Comments »I posted this on Facebook today. Someone asked about recreating the scene today.
The boys. July, 2000.
Well, we don’t have the hats. They’d be way too small anyway.
This is as close as I could get.
The boys. August, 2011.
In the 12 seconds I had to set it up and shoot it, I think I did okay.
I can fly!
Posted: August 8, 2011 Filed under: friends, the boys 6 Comments »
Was this a great bar mitzvah gift, or what?
Counting the minutes.
Posted: July 31, 2011 Filed under: friends, girlfriends, Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel 2 Comments »
Shock, review, and happiness.
Posted: July 24, 2011 Filed under: family, home, kids, random, the boys 1 Comment »Shock
Notice anything strange about this soap? Like the fact that it is unused? Yes, folks. I just unpacked this from one of my sons upon his return from 4 weeks at camp. All I can say is that I hope he gave the shampoo double-duty. Otherwise, ewwww. Just ewwww.
Review
I was sent a full size sample of the NEW Downy UNSTOPABLES™ from Vocalpoint, so fter researching to be sure it was safe in a high efficiency washer, I decided to give it the test of all tests. 
Yes, I’m talking about the musty, filthy, disgusting clothes the boys brought home from camp.
I’m not big on a lot of scents, so I started slowly. The first load came out smelling amazing! So, I tried a little more in the next. And the next. And now, I might be hooked.
Yes, I’m still going to need to burn some of those clothes. They may smell fresh, but they’re never (and I mean never) going to get clean. But the clean clothes? They’re both clean and fresh and the boys’ rooms smell better than ever since I hung the clothes up in their closets. Win/win.
I am a happy mom.
Happiness
But the real reason for my extreme happiness? We’re all back together again!
Good practice?
Posted: July 1, 2011 Filed under: family, kids, Spouse 2.0, the boys 6 Comments »
Photo credit to "greensmoke"
Here I am on day 4 of no kids in the house.
And it feels like it’s been quiet for months.
It’s not even that my guys are so loud (though they are sometimes), it’s just that there’s activity. Laughing.
And please don’t get me wrong! Andrew and I are laughing – and we’re spending some great time together. It’s so odd, though, making plans and going out with no consideration of the kids. We have no kids! Not for 3 more weeks.
3 more weeks. Wow.
They’re rooms are neat. Sheets changed. Bathroom mats and towels fresh. Laundry folded and put away. All I really need to do for them is write letters. Oh, and remember to mail them.
So what will I do with all this time?
I daydreamed about organizing my iPhotos. (I have thousands of pix.) Cleaning the address book on my computer. Categorizing my iTunes. Being crafty.
What have I done so far? Worked. Relaxed outside. Watched The Voice final. Shared a really nice bottle of wine with Andrew. Burger night at Twist & Turn. Picked up veggies and fruit from our CSA.
At this moment, I am giving myself permission to reduce my expectations for accomplishing anything (except work, of course) and use this time to unwind and enjoy my husband.
And hoping to take a little just me time, too.
Maybe this is good practice for the future.
Portal.
Posted: May 19, 2011 Filed under: the boys Leave a comment »My guys love the game, Portal. And Max just played me this song from the game. It’s kind of pretty – until you hear the words.
Sniff. Sniff.
Posted: May 5, 2011 Filed under: family, kids, memories, parenting, the boys 6 Comments »
Andrew came home today with 4 DVDs. He had our videos of our kids when they were little converted.
I couldn’t peel myself away from it.
The gurgling, the crying, the chewing the toys.
I saw their first birthdays. And birthday parties year after year. I saw them with their aunts and uncles and grandparents and great-grandparents.
We were at the zoo, the park, our backyard, our kitchen.
And my favorites? In the bathtub. I always loved my little boys playing in the bathtub. They were silly and funny and cute. And in some scenes, they had a friend or a cousin. Really? They could not be any cuter.
I love the part with my BFF’s daughter singing in the bathtub and my boys cheering her on. Too. Darn. Cute.
But after I smiled and teared up a bit and laughed, I had a very sad realization.
I don’t remember it all.
The way their voices sounded. The drool. The screeching. The slobbery kisses. The falling down. The way they talked to each other. How funny they were. How squishy they were. How disgusting they were when they ate. How exciting it was for them to see the penguins at the zoo the first time. How opening presents was the greatest adventure in life. Except for the slip and slide.
I forgot how little they were.
I love, love, love who they are now.
But now, I miss who they were. Just a little.
