Back in the 1900′s.
Posted: January 9, 2011 Filed under: parenting, the boys 3 Comments »
I remember when this photo was taken. Bridget was our babysitter and she was a photography major. She asked if we’d pose. I was pretty darn pregnant with Max, Reed had just turned one, Davis had just turned three.
It was a crazy time. I’d started my business. Andrew was traveling all the time for business – he was gone Monday through Friday most weeks. Life was wonderful and exhausting and frustrating and challenging.
And this series of photos captured exactly what I would have wanted to remember; though I had no idea at the time. Those little boys were the joy of every day.
But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t challenging. Or lonely. Or hard.
It was.
Challenging.
Lonely.
Hard.
And today, when I was perusing my Twitter stream, I saw the love and support between and among some young mothers. I felt the warmth, the reassurance, the support.
It warmed my heart.
And it got me to thinking. I was a new mother who was grateful and excited to have Moms Online on AOL. It was new and groundbreaking. But it was a bulletin board. Static. Anonymous. These days? There’s total immediacy. Deep engagement. Real friendships growing. Serious ‘I got your back’ attitude. I mean, wow. I can barely imagine having that kind of camaraderie at that stage in my life.
Not to sound totally pitiful, I did have my friends. And they were fab! Still are. But they had their own kids, their own lives. It wasn’t like I could ping a friend any time – day or night – and she’d convo with me. Well, sure, if it was an emergency. But surely I wouldn’t have called (there was no texing!) to say, I’m up for the 3am feeding, what are YOU doing?
On the other hand, I did totally appreciate the peace and the quiet and the full ‘engagement’ with my babies in the middle of the night. If it was today, would I be tweeting while nursing? I’m not sure. Maybe. And would that compromise the experience? I don’t know. I really don’t. Truthfully, I don’t know what it would be like. I don’t let Twitter or Facebook or blogging interfere with intimate moments in my life now, so maybe it wouldn’t be an issue.
But I can sure see how having a community of women in the same lifestage could be very, very reassuring. And I can imagine that sharing some of those exhausting, challenging times could make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone.
Left, right, left, right.
Posted: November 20, 2010 Filed under: kids, memories, parenting, the boys, travel 3 Comments »
[photo credit: small Road by soland]
When I was growing up, my favorite game was Left Right Left Right.
What? You’ve never played?
Here’s the deal. The parents drive. But the kids take turns telling the driver whether to turn left or right at every intersection. If you want to go straight, your turn continues until you actually tell the driver to turn. Then, it’s the next kid’s turn.
If the kids work together, it’s fun to try to get the grownups to end up at your favorite ice cream shop (we used to aim for Windy Valley). Or just to try to get lost. Or find new places. Or explore.
And not to sound entirely geeky (not that I can really help it), but the best part (aside from the ice cream) is looking at the map and figuring out where we ended up and how to get home from there.
Oh boy, oh boy!
We started playing LRLR with our boys when they were young – 3, 4, & 6. Sure, the 6 year old knew what was going on but the younger boys didn’t get it. But, we figured it wouldn’t hurt. And it didn’t. They caught on as the years went on.
We don’t play as often anymore (sniff, sniff) because it no longer excites them. That isn’t to say that we don’t take road trips or that they don’t help with the navigation, planning, etc. In fact, I believe that one of the reasons they’re so good with maps – so great at navigation and trip planning – is because we started introducing these concepts when they were really little.
I could be wrong.
But either way, I’ll never be sorry that they have the skill set and the spirit of adventure. I know I’m grateful that I enjoy it so much. I hope that the boys continue to love exploration and the hidden treasures and finds off the beaten track. And I hope that they pass on the game.
And the love of the road.
Rolling, rolling, rolling.
Posted: August 24, 2010 Filed under: kids, parenting, the boys 2 Comments »
This post is really not about my guys going off-road on segways. Though they did. And they had a fantastic time. This was at Smuggler’s Notch in Vermont. We also swam, hiked, and ate. Oh, and we did nothing.
Nothing. That was the part I liked best. Because it’s so rare that we get to do nothing.
Okay, truthfully, that entailed reading and talking and hanging out. So it’s not really nothing, it’s something I crave. And it’s when we really connect. These are the times I love the most. And I think these are the times I’ll remember always. ‘Cause when we’re all together with no pressure and no schedule, it’s just so relaxed and happy.
And that’s what I love about summer.
While it’s true that I worked a lot this summer, there were lots of times when I stopped and we all played BananaGrams or Quiddler or watched a movie all snuggled up. And so…
As summer ends, I feel it. The nagging at my stomach. The sweat and fear. The dreaded….
Homework.
Carpools.
Practices.
And worst of all….
The 7am bus.
Now, I don’t mean to be crabby, but to have a kid out the door at 6:45 means breakfast at 6:30 at the latest. That means alarm at 6:00.
I’m often up at 6:00 anyway. But it’s different when it’s expected. And sure, my kids are old enough to make their own lunches (they do) and make their own breakfasts (they do) and clean up their dishes (they do), they are not so big that they don’t want their mom to talk to in the morning, to have some love and support, and…
blah, blah, blah. You get the picture. It’s just part of the deal.
So I know a lot of you are psyched that your kids are going back to school.
Not me.
What a long, strange trip it’s been.
Posted: August 12, 2010 Filed under: Spouse 2.0, the boys, travel 2 Comments »Yesterday, we traveled from Jeffersonville, Vermont all the way home. Along the way, we made a few stops. This one is at The World’s Largest Kaleidoscope – a 60′ silo converted into a… you guessed it… a kaleidoscope. So my hub, the boys and I laid on the floor, listened to the music and watched the show. I couldn’t resist capturing a bit for your enjoyment….
Not now.
Posted: July 13, 2010 Filed under: mood, Spouse 2.0, the boys, work Leave a comment »As usual, I have a lot going on. Work is hopping. That’s good.
I want to spend time with Davis before his brothers get home. So today, we took a library run and hung out a little. Nice.
But that doesn’t stop the worry.
Worry that my iMac still isn’t connecting properly to the Internet. Or that my email is having trouble (separate issue). Or that I just am not in the loveliest mood. (Just ask Andrew. He’ll probably deny it because otherwise, it could actually get worse for him. Trust me.)
I accidentally opened my iPhoto on my laptop. And I found this:
Isn’t it beautiful!? It’s from when I went to Liberty Hill Farm for a meeting earlier this year. It was heaven.
Peaceful, right?
AHHHHH.
And then, I uncovered this one:
This is from the Grand Caymans earlier this year. I was lucky enough to go on the Cabot Celebrity Cruise. Such great memories. There were amazing people there – people who do incredible and selfless things for others and their communities. Very inspiring. Very.
So maybe this little trip outside myself for a minute put it all in perspective.
Or maybe it was the email I got from a new-ish friend that spoke to the importance of women friends in life. For health and happiness.
Or maybe it was the undying support that Andrew gives me despite my (possible) grumpiness.
Or it could be the wine.
Or the pajamas.
Or the cat cuddled up by my feet.
I suppose I can deal with my technology nightmares tomorrow.
Because I’m finished with them now. And I’m turning this thing off.
‘Night.
13,306 photos.
Posted: June 27, 2010 Filed under: memories, the boys 2 Comments »Yes, it’s true.
I have 13,306 photos in my iPhotos program.
And today, I decided to spend a little time tagging them.
As you can imagine, it’s an overwhelming task. So I decided I’d tackle 75 or so at a sitting.
Every day.
At that rate, I’ll have tagged all the photos by Sunday, December 19, 2010. (Of course, I have to tag new photos as I load them. That’s the deal. Othewise, I’ll never make the end of the year!)
In 11 months and 7 days, Reed and Max will be bar mitzvah’d. If all the photos are tagged, I’ll be in a great position to create heart-wrenching, oh-so-cute slide shows in plenty of time. No digging through all the pix. I’d even have time to scan in some more. (Because, folks, I have boxes and boxes of photos that aren’t included in that 13,306. Go figure.)
I worry about getting distracted as I go through the tagging process.
Case in point…
and
and
and
You see my problem.
I’m typically a very focused person. But looking through pictures is so distracting!
Going round & round.
Posted: January 16, 2010 Filed under: kids, memories, the boys 4 Comments »
I had my two older boys and a little time to kill this morning.
“What should we do? We have an hour,” I said.
“Starbucks.”
Seriously? I was floored. But since I could totally use another cup of joe, I agreed. The closest one was at the local mall.
After we ordered (frapaccino for one, ice coffee for the other and regular coffee for me), we sat down. The boys didn’t want to talk really. They wanted to absorb the Starbuck’s vibe.
I am not kidding. This was their first visit…ever.
Had I really deprived them of this American iconic experience for so long? Shocking, I know.
But what really got me is that my teenage boys like coffee.
And the fact that the Starbuck’s is right beside the carousel where I used to take these same children to ‘kill time’ just a few years ago (well, it seems like just a few years ago to me so stop laughing), did not escape me.
So while the boys were absorbing the vibe, I was watching the young mothers and fathers with their little kids on the merry-go-round. I was remembering how my oldest only liked the stationary horses and how my youngest laughed out loud as the speed increased.
I went back to the time when I had to lift my guys up; they couldn’t climb that high on their own. They had soft cheeks and wet kisses and their hugs felt like they’d last forever.
They are still these boys; the same but different.
I love who they are growing to be…and every step along the way.
Bedtime stories.
Posted: December 28, 2009 Filed under: kids, memories, Spouse 2.0, the boys 6 Comments »
From the time our boys were teensy little boys, Andrew and I read them bedtime stories. We loved reading to them so much that we took turns so that neither missed the opportunity. (Though when Andrew was traveling, I got the honor to myself.)
Depending on the stages of the boys, we read to them separately or together. If they wanted the same book, we’d cuddle in all together but when they had different desires, we’d comply.
It was the highlight of the day.
Nothing made me happier than cuddling with my little guys and some books.
Some days, we’d read 10 or more. They never got enough. (If you know us IRL, I know you believe me.)
As they got older, the books got longer and more complex.
Until we got to some serious chapter books.
That is not so fun to read out loud – at least for me. While I love I Love You the Purplest and Seven Silly Eaters and Welcome to Dinsmore, The World’s Greatest Store and other sing-songy books, I’m not much of an out-loud reader of novels.
Just makes my throat dry.
But Andrew loves that stuff.
He read the whole Alex Rider series while the boys sat by silently listening. But we finished the series.
Fast forward to today.
And he’s on the third Clive Cussler novel. Corsair. It’s the third book we’ve heard about the Oregon, the ship sent out to save mankind from terrible people and…
Well, I don’t want to spoil it for you.
All I can say is that if you’d asked me when the kids were little if we’d still be cuddling in together reading outloud when the boys were 11, 12-1/2, and 14-1/2, I’d have told you ‘no way.’
But then again, I remember when Davis was in kindergarten. He’d hold a book that I’d never read him and go through it apparently as if reading. When I’d ask him about it, he told me that he couldn’t read it. He needed me to read it. Long story short, I figured out that he could, indeed, read quite well. He was just afraid I wouldn’t read to him anymore once I knew he could read for himself.
I promised him that I, that we, would read to him as long as he’d let us.
And here we are.
Life’s a beach.
Posted: October 28, 2009 Filed under: the boys, travel 4 Comments »
I’ve only been to Long Island 3 times.
1) At 17, to visit Hofstra University. Way too congested for my taste.
2) At 25, to go to my friend, Beth’s, wedding – not sure the town but I sure remember the traffic! (And I remember that my brand new car got scraped in the parking lot at the synagogue. No note, of course.)
3) With Liz when I was 31 (pictured here) with Davis at 15 months to Montauk.
My first brush with LI was at camp. (Incidentally, I took Andrew and the boys to see my camp last summer. One of my first years, there were girls in my bunk from Harrisburg, Lebanon PA, Hazelton, Philly, and one girl from Mineolalangilan. Everyone else seemed to know where that was so I didn’t dare ask. But when I went home and my parents asked about the bunk, I told them.
Imagine the belly laughter that ensued.
But I digress.
I love this photo of Davis and me on the beach. I love remembering. He laughed and ate champagne grapes and butter for dinner while Liz and I had a gourmet meal. If I recall, he ate some mussels and clams, too, neither of which he’ll eat now. On the other hand, his taste for butter has definitely maintained – possibly even grown.
The beach there was so peaceful. And while it’s never peaceful having a toddler, it was lovely.
My little baby is in high school. He’s as sweet as ever except for an occasional eye-roll.
Time flies when you’re having fun.
Life is a beach.
Why I drive to practice and make our weekends challenging.
Posted: July 1, 2009 Filed under: kids, sports, the boys 3 Comments »No mom signs the kid up for team sports because she gets excited about the extra driving, the complicated scheduling, or the chopped -up weekends. Trust me. This is a fact.
And it’s true for me, too.
When our sons were little, I dreaded the day they’d want to play sports, if truth be told. The rap about soccer moms and families whose lives revolve around sports really turned me off.
But.
I am absolutely convinced that my guys have grown. Learned teamwork. Become more confident. And that they’re well on their way to becoming men.
Max plays flag football in spring and fall and basketball in the winter. Reed plays basketball in the winter (and trombone all year, but that’s another story for another day).
Last basketball season, the boys were ‘drafted’ onto teams where they didn’t know even one other player. Shocking, because there must be 20 boys in each age group from our schools that play in the league. But things happen, right?
I was bummed out. The practices were far away. The boys had to make new relationships. The coaches were unknown to us.
The boys, while thinking it’d be nice to have a friend or two on the team already, were not really all that concerned. In fact, when they heard me talking to Andrew about lack of carpools and camaraderie, they said they absolutely did not want me to try to change them to a team with their peers. They were F.I.N.E.
And that started the best season for both boys that we’ve ever had. They made friends. They had amazingly stupendous, encouraging coaches. Together, this great group of kids led by compassionate and talented men, became teams. Really good, strong, cohesive teams.
When it was time to sign up last week for next winter’s league, I asked the boys if they wanted me to put any requests on the form. For specific kids? Coaches?
And the immediate response was “No, Mom. We’re good.” And I realized that my guys were going to be just fine in this world. They could walk into a situation and make it work for them. They had inner strength and motivation. And, not to be corny, they are team players.
And I’m really proud.
I get all sorts of alerts for moms to blog or tweet about different things. I don’t consider myself a mommy blogger, but clearly I am a mom and a blogger. And so when I saw that Liberty Mutual (not my insurance company – or at least I don’t think so, but Andrew would know for sure. Yikes. That’s terrible, isn’t it?) was sponsoring a program that supports volunteer youth sports coaches and parents who help our children succeed both on and off the field, gives community grants (in a time when communities are seeing cutbacks in funding for sure!) , and is maintaining a site with some terrific resources, and they were hoping that some bloggers would give them some ink, I decided wtf, I’d do it. ResponsibleSports.com. It’s nice. And I don’t say that lightly.
And I think it’s really important.
