Christmas Eve Shabbat
Posted: December 24, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment »We’re headed to see my sister and her family up north for a quick visit. It’s Christmas Eve, though in their neighborhood more people are celebrating Shabbat.
It’ll be so nice. We’ll spend the day talking and playing games. And catching up. Because most times when we try to talk on the phone, one of us has something to hurry up and finish, to work on, or to pick up. It’s not easy for 2 mothers of 3 to find time to talk.
We’ll have a dinner – all 12 of us. (Did I mention that my parents are going with us?) After sundown, the kids might watch a movie or play an electronic game. And the adults will hang out. Or something.
Whatever we do, it’ll be nice to be together. Even if it’s brief.
Happy judgment-free holidays to you.
Posted: December 23, 2011 Filed under: family, girlfriends, kids, memories, mood, parenting, work 8 Comments »I came across a post I wrote 6 years ago today. And it still resonates. I mean, really. What the heck is balance anyway? My boys were 7, 8, and 10 at the time. A lot has changed in our world.
But not that much.
Parts of Speech
[originally posted 12/23/05]
Judging others is a dangerous hobby. Without all the facts (and you never have all the facts) it is impossible to understand someone’s decisions, motives, choices on all fronts. Now that doesn’t mean that we can’t relate to others’ issues, challenges, etc. Two things I’ve learned over the years come to mind:
1) You don’t know what happens in someone else’s house.
2) Never say “I never would…” in reference to someone else’s choices. You might one day when faced with the same situation.
I’ve been stewing about something that happened the other day. In order to let it go, I’ve decided to write about it. I drove some kids (including some of my own) to an after-school class. One of the kids was unable to carry his stuff in, so I dropped them all off, parked the car, and, sans coat, trekked across the parking lot to bring the kid his stuff. I was cold. I had a sick kid at home I wanted to get back to. My father had a procedure that day and I couldn’t go sit with my mom while she waited because of my kid at home who needed me. My work was behind schedule due to the same sick kid and the construction noise at the house was really getting to me and to that same sick kid, who cried about his head hurting for hours. You get the picture – the day was not a cake walk. (I always wanted to say cake walk – I hope I used it correctly!)
Walking into the school, I ran into a friend. Not a “hang out all the time” friend, but someone I like and socialize with occasionally. After saying hello, she took a hard look at me and said:
Balance is a verb.
It felt like a punch in the stomach. She has balance so never looks harried? I am unbalanced? I am incapable of managing my life? What exactly was this wisdom she was (unsolicited, I might add) presenting to me? She had no idea what I had done for the past month, let alone for the day. I was really irritated. How superior.
After a day I asked a close friend, who I respect tremendously, what she thought. She said:
Bitch is a verb too.
Happy Erev Chanukah. Merry Christmas Eve. I’m planning on a judgment-free holiday.
Do you fight fair?
Posted: December 23, 2011 Filed under: random Leave a comment »
Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Sauerkraut
No couple agrees all the time. Nor do all friends see eye-to-eye on everything.
Frankly, sometimes we piss each other off.
But I’ve been wondering lately. What is fair game? Can you loop back around to an old issue if it illustrates a pattern? Or is that dirty pool?
How do you choose words that aren’t hurtful but that don’t make you sound like a loser and a doormat?
I hate fighting.
But, as hard as it is to admit, I hate having my character and/or judgement challenged more.
So, tell me. What constitutes fair fighting?
Go.
Night #3
Posted: December 22, 2011 Filed under: family, memories 4 Comments »
When the boys were little, we had a part-time nanny named Sarah. She was wonderful and I was so grateful for her.
I believe she made these candles with the boys in 2001, though it might have been 2000. They’re colored cellophane and construction paper. Nothing fancy, but very clever.
Obviously, I liked them since I still have them. Every year, we put them up, one candle at a time. And they make me smile.
I wonder if Sarah imagines that we still embrace the wonderful projects she did with the boys all those years ago?
It helps to get it off your chest.
Posted: December 21, 2011 Filed under: family, Food, memories 4 Comments »
Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/daveg147
Those of you who know me know that I seriously dislike (read: despise or abhor) mustard.
It’s the smell. Oh, and the taste.
And while it’s not always been easy – as mustard is pretty darn ubiquitous – I’ve managed to keep it out of my mouth for the most part, save a vinaigrette now and again.
But life hasn’t always been this sunny.
And today, I confronted my demons.
When I was a kid, my mother used to make doctored baked beans. That means that she took a can of Heinz and added stuff to it to make it taste better. Or so she said. When directly confronted, she told me that there was no mustard used in the creation of this delicacy.
But it tasted like mustard to me. And one day I caught her.
Fast forward a bit and there’s the crab imperial. Another denial, but I knew better. There was definitely mustard in that dish. No doubt.
Today, more than 35 years later, I told her I knew what she’d done. And how it has affected my life. How I may never recover. And you know what? She doesn’t remember at all. (Though she did apologize.)
Of course, she is forgiven. (And I hope she realizes this post is all in fun.) But it’s a great reminder that our kids know what we’re up to and they’re hip to our game. (Always wanted to say that.)
So don’t lie to your kids. Not even about mustard.
Reflecting.
Posted: December 17, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chat with a friend, good listener, reflections Leave a comment »
I know what you’re thinking. Another f^&%ing end of year reflections blog post.
Hey, I don’t blame you. I’m a little burnt out from all the retrospectives myself.
This is not that. A retrospective, I mean. Allow me to explain.
I realize that I am who I hoped to be. And notwithstanding some flaws that I will continue to work to improve, I’m happy with who that is. I’m kind and (most of the time) considerate. I love my family and my friends. I work hard and am proud of what I deliver. But I realized recently that I haven’t let all that many people know me – I mean really know me – in my life. While I’m open and friendly (and a good listener), I don’t expose very much of myself.
Am I insecure? Afraid I’ll seem boring? Or just not that special? Scared everyone will know I’m an axe murderer? {Just checking to see if you’re reading. Hee hee.}
And, I think I’m not alone in holding back.
I had an interesting chat with a friend last week. It occurred to me that none of us knows another – I mean – to the core. Doesn’t each of you have something that no one knows you think. Or something you do. Or don’t do? Don’t we all have a secret?
Oh, I’m not saying that most people are hiding hugely important aspects of their lives or terrible deeds. I’m not suggesting, even, that those secrets are even a big deal.
But there’s something.
Sandy
Posted: December 14, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment »
Loveladies, NJ
I’ve brought out my gloves and scarves. And the new beautiful hat that my son knitted for me. My coat has been cleaned and looks brand new.
By all accounts, I’m ready for winter.
But I’m not.
I’m dreaming of the sandy beaches where I’ve read so many great books, sat quietly admiring the beauty, and played with my family.
Well, hello there.
Posted: December 13, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized 6 Comments »
Photo credit to http://www.proledesign.com/
Life gets busy.
Sometimes priorities shift. More often for me when life get really crazed, the things that drop off my list are things that I love. I muster through and get all the important things done. But do I write my blog? Do I read books? (Well, I do read books, but they take weeks to finish when I read one chapter a day.)
I’m taking the time back. And I’m writing again.
It makes me feel like me.
When I first started blogging, I had lots of stories about my kids. I can’t do that anymore. They’re teenagers and trust me – they don’t want to see cute stories about them on my blog. Seriously.
To get back in the swing of things, I thought I’d pick one thing I really like and write about it.
I like pencils.
Sure, I like a good pen or marker once in a while. But the lack of permanency of writing in pencil is comforting to me. I like that I have to care for my pencils and keep them sharp. (I have an electric sharpener right by my phone. It’s well-used.)
I just counted 18 pencils in my holder. One writes blue, another red. The rest are regular pencils of varying heights. All except 2 have perfect erasers.
That doesn’t mean I don’t erase! I have some beloved erasers in my left desk drawer. My favorite? A kneaded eraser that I’ve had for years. Works great for stress-relief, too.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll write about my Sharpies. I do love Sharpies.
Why do you work out?
Posted: October 29, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment »
I saw this today on Pinterest. And it really hit me wrong. I’d love to hear your reaction.
