Bleach.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have a thing about bed linens. And I’m quite attached to Clorox Fresh Rain scent. Paired with Era and complimented with Bounce, it’s the perfect recreation of the Ritz Carlton’s linens.

I wasn’t going to share this story with you — you already think I’m a little off. (Or more than a little off.) But a special visitor today convinced me to post it. So, I’ll start at the beginning.

I have been looking for Fresh Rain Clorox for months. I found a generic version and bought all 3 they had. But other than that? It’s been dry. Totally, absolutely dry. Yes, there is Meadow scent. And Original. And Citrus. And the new Mountain Fresh. But no Fresh Rain. None. Nada.

So one night, over a nice bottle of Zin, Andrew suggested I look online. Doh. Why didn’t I think of that?

So I searched and searched and searched. And I found a restaurant supply house that carried Fresh Rain. Hooray!

So right then and there, I ordered a case of it. For $12.81 plus $14.18 shipping for a grand total of $26.99. I know, a little steep for bleach, but I was at my wit’s end. And I know it’s ridiculous to have the shipping cost more than the product. It reminds me of doing TV production for a commercial that costs more than the media budget to buy air time. Nuts!

But, this bleach is really great stuff. So, what the heck? I’ll have enough to last for a year. Whew hoo!

Two weeks went by. No bleach.

I sent an email asking where it was. The reply was that it was marked for UPS shipping, but can’t be sent via UPS since it’s a hazardous material. So it was in a holding bin. Might they have called or emailed me?

No problem, Maria wrote. She’d be sending the bleach via another method.

After another week and a day, I got a phone call from Estes Trucking. They had a delivery for me and it had to be scheduled. You see, it is coming on an 18-wheeler.

So the day of the arrival, the driver called me for directions from the nearest highway. I suggested he not pull into our culde-sac. He might not fit. I’ll meet him at the corner.

But he did pull right into our court. And stopped in front of the house. And he opened the back of that huge tractor trailer. And he picked up a box that weighs 30 pounds and handed it to me. It was about 15″ x 30″ by 15″ deep. And it was one of the few things on that huge truck.

I burst out laughing. It just struck me as hilarious that this little box was shipped this way. And at an estimated cost to the shipper of $100. (A good friend who ships all the time estimated this for me….)

So I carry the box to my porch. The driver blushes and asks me what is so special about this bleach. He had been talking to a friend and told him about this delivery and they were baffled. I snickered and told him the story of Fresh Rain Clorox and its ability to make me feel like I live in a hotel. I might have mentioned that even I knew this sounded ridiculous.

I signed the bill of lading. And he left. The huge semi made it around the island and back out of our culde-sac unscathed.

And then, I opened the box.

It was a case of Mountain Fresh Clorox. You read it right, folks. Mountain Fresh.

So I ran back in and checked my email confirmation. It didn’t specify the scent. So I went on live help on the company’s website. Here is the transcript:

You have been connected to Shelia Cooper.
Shelia Cooper: Hi Wendy! I’m looking into your inquiry now.
Wendy: Hi. thanks.
Shelia Cooper: 1 case of Clorox® Ultra Rain Clean Scent Liquid Bleach – 84 oz
Wendy: That’s not what I got. I got MOUNTAIN something.
Wendy: AND I know what trouble it was getting it to me, too. Yikes.
Wendy: Are you there?
Shelia Cooper: allow me to call the warehouse
Wendy: thanks Sheila
Shelia Cooper: The Rain Clean has been discontinued
Shelia Cooper: Would you like to return the Mountain Scent
Wendy: I don’t know how, honestly,. I was told it can’t ship UPS. I wonder why no one told me that Rain Scent wasn’t available. I don’t mean to sound whiny, but I ordered it because I couldn’t find it elsewhere.
Wendy: and I’ve been waiting 7 weeks.

Shelia Cooper: I understand. It was discontinued and the replacement was sent. We can have them picked up.
Wendy: Can I get back to you? I’ll go smell it. Maybe it’ll work.
Shelia Cooper: ok
Wendy: Oh, I exaggerated about the 7 weeks. Sorry. Realized it was less than that. Thanks for all your help. Can I ask for you?
Shelia Cooper: You may but anyone will be able to assist. All the info will be on the order
Wendy: Thank you very much. Bye, Wendy
Shelia Cooper: Thanks for contacting Instwares

Okay, well.

It just seemed a little too mean of me to ask them to spend another $100 to return the bleach that already cost them $86 to send me.

Mountain Fresh does not smell like Fresh Rain. It’s not even close.

But I guess I’m going to have to deal with it.

And I bet that Instawares stops selling to individuals soon. If they haven’t already. And I know that the truck driver and Sheila Cooper have some funny stories to tell around the holiday table this year!

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6 thoughts on “Bleach.

  1. You must have been SO disappointed! Wonder why the Rain scent is no longer sold. You should call Clorox’s marketing department. I mean, you’re in the marketing business and all…

  2. Man, I’m with you on the finicky linens AND laundry soaps. When Bri’s friend was living with me and I decided to do a mountain of his laundry, I bought 2 gallons of the cheap stuff, thinking it would surely take all that to get his stuff done.

    Well, it only took about 1/2 gallon, and I’ve been mucking through the rest of that crap since September. Everything looks dingy and nothing smells “great!” So I tossed up my hands this week, stocked up on Tide and Clorox.

    Anyway, boy, it really took me off guard when you got the mountain stuff. What a tale! I’m glad you blogged it!

    P.S. My word verification is “lrdtit” Heh hehh heh

  3. You can always look at places like Big Lots and Dollar Stores for the discontinued stuff. It is amazing the things that end up there. I’ll keep my eyes open for you.

    I’m sorry it was the wrong stuff, but that is a fabalous story.

  4. i’m torn between laughing (and laughing and laughing) at you and feeling so bad for you.

    i think i’ll laugh 😉

    (for what it’s worth, i once paid a ridiculous amount of money for some baby shampoo that you can’t buy in the US anymore (but could when kate was first born). i had to order it from london and it was about four times the price to ship it as it was for the product. but the scent was oh so worth it.) 🙂

  5. what a story!

    i had to buy detergent today, and i thought of you. normally i’m a “free and clear” girl, but today i started smelling.

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