Growing up, I never used deodorant, well almost never. I did use it at camp so I wouldn’t stand out as a loser who didn’t need deodorant. That’s why I started to shave, also, by the way. I’m so proud.
So my mom would buy me that girly deodorant – the brand everyone used. And it sat there on the shelf. Truth is, I didn’t stink.
I know, it’s hard to believe. But it’s true. I can’t stand that sweaty smell and I would’ve used it if I needed it – just for my own benefit.
But I didn’t need it.
Until about last year. At age 44.
That’s when my hormones started going berserk (I love that word) and now I actually use the stuff in my medicine cabinet.
When I first started needing it, I used Andrew’s roll-on Ban. It was fine. But wet. Know what I mean? Ewww. Then, I bought a Lady Speed Stick that says ‘won’t get white crap on your clothes’ but you know what? It does. Why would you say that on your package if it wasn’t true?
No wonder advertisers get a bad name.
Anyway, then, I got Secret Super Extra Power Gel That Also Won’t Get White Crap on Your Clothes. The gel is (okay, don’t laugh) kind of fun. It oozes out the top of the container. Hee hee.
And it doesn’t get white crap on my clothes. And it keeps me from smelling like a camel at the gym.
So yesterday got busy. I came home from the gym and ended up at my computer all day and into the evening.
When I got in the shower, the deodorant wouldn’t wash off. No seriously, it was weird.
So I decided that maybe it was because I was using fru-fru soap so I got the DEODORANT soap like what else – duh – that should wash off deodorant. It’s made specially for it. Right?
It didn’t work. I felt so sticky. Maybe I needed sandpaper.
So I yell (daintily, I’m sure) out for Andrew.
“Are you there? Does this happen to you? Does your deodorant get stuck on you?”
I waited for him to laugh. He didn’t.
“I use shampoo,” he yelled back.
“Really?” I asked.
“Your red is in boulders?” he answered.
“Excuse me? What boulders?”
“No, use my Head & Shoulders.”
And I did. And it worked.
Am I the only woman this has happened to? Why didn’t I know about this? I feel so…. out of touch!