18 years and it still smarts.

Eighteen years ago, I went to my 10 year high school reunion.

I went with some wonderful friends; we met at Pam’s place in Mt. Vernon. I loved that apartment. I went without a date. Why? Well, my first hub and I had recently separated. It was the first social event I was going to alone since. I was prepared for all the questions. I was freaked out.

I remember going to a boutique with my mom to get a great outfit to wear. It was a green-ish silk and suede outfit with a jacket and pants – perfectly appropriate in 1989. Thinking back? Yikes. But I digress.

So Pam and I and the gang headed to Westminster Hall to the big event. For those who don’t know, The Westminster Hall and Burying Ground, is a graveyard and former church and the burial site of Edgar Allan Poe.

(Actually, it might have been at Lexington Market. There were two different things and I don’t know which was which! But Westminster Hall is cooler.)

So we all got name tags with photos of what we looked like then. Okay. Not my best look, but I’ll live.

While everyone is hanging out and talking, a guy I had a huge crush on through high school starting chatting me up. He was a good friend of my friend, Joe. He was handsome and charming and had just started law school. I was flattered to have his full attention.

Before my friends and I left for Fells Point and the after-party, he asked for my phone number.

It was the ego-boost I needed after being so depressed over my failed marriage.

A day or so later, he called me and asked me to dinner.

I would love to. We talked for a while and we chose a date and time.

Again, I went shopping. I bought a new pair of jeans and a very cute sweater. I was counting the days.

And it finally arrived!

I looked really great. Outfit? Check. Hair? Check. Attitude? Check.

7:00 p.m. came and went.

7:30 p.m.

8:00 p.m.

Maybe I had the day wrong? I was panicked and stressed.

I’d call him. It must be a misunderstanding.

He answered the phone. He seemed surprised to hear from me.

Where are you, I asked?

Oh, I need to reschedule. I’ll call you later this week.

And he never did.

Fast forward to 2008.

I had lunch with my mom and three other women today. I suppose you can guess who walked in with his wife, kids, and his parents.

His wife is a great friend of the women I was sitting with. So she came over to say hello. She seemed very nice.

And as I walked to the ladies’ room (you have no idea how hard I tried to hold it in!) I had to walk past his table.

I put on my best smile and said hello.

He smiled and said hello.

And I kept walking.

Honestly, this guy is nothing to me. So why does it still make my heart hurt for even a split second?


8 thoughts on “18 years and it still smarts.

  1. Because, um, you’re human?
    I can’t be in the same room with a woman who used to TORTURE me in jr. hight – and she’s now a congregant! We’re all just human 🙂

  2. Only because the perfectionist in you does not like to fail at ANYTHING and rarely ever does. Just think how different your life would e if you hadn’t listened to that inner voice that told you to leave? Certainly not where you are now!! And this is a much better place!

  3. Because what he did to you wasn’t very nice at all…and it was a time you were especially sensitive.

    You KNOW you’re happier with your life now than you would have been with him. At the least he was disorganized; at the most, he was (and probably still is) an insensitive creep.

    But even wounds which seem to be fully-healed can unexpectedly burst open, can’t they?


  4. I AM glad everything turned out how it did!

    (And I do hear this guy is a real mensch – and I’m not surprised really. He always seemed like a nice person. Well, except for that one time, I mean!)

  5. It’s not the guy who makes your heart hurt, it’s feeling rejected — yuk! Who likes that feeling?

    Even so, he’s the one who made you feel that way, which sort of begs the question: what kind of mensch would do such a thing?! Sure, maybe the guy’s grown up…but still!

    Anyway, it certainly seems that you made it through okay, and living well is the best revenge (or so I’m told…)

You know I love comments! Comment here. (Does that sound needy?)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s