I’m really tired.

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I am an insomniac.

I was a recovering insomniac, but no longer I’m recovering.

What I mean is, I’m not sleeping. Before I found a doctor who would help me find a serious solution to the lack of sleep, I was tired. Bone tired. I was living on 3-4 hours a night. Tops.

But I got used to it. I’d get up and work or read or watch tv. I wasn’t really all that depressed about it most of the time. I developed good habits like not having a tv in the bedroom and not laying there wishing I was asleep and stuff like that. I read every – single – article – ever – written – that talked about how to overcome insomnia.

Nothing worked. I tried herbs and acupuncture and wine. I even tried Tylenol PM. Admittedly, the Tylenol PM worked on occasion but I’d pay for it with groggy-head the next day. My doc gave me a 10-day trial of one of the fancy sleep medications and it worked great. But she wouldn’t let me take it long-term.

That was a bit of a tease, no?

And then, crying in my new internist’s office (clearly, the old one wasn’t helping), she said she could help me. She put me on a medication that was non-addictive.

And for TWO YEARS I slept. Not straight through, mind you, but for a reasonable amount of time every night. Well, almost every night. But close enough. It was a miracle.

A miracle, I say.

That doc started a membership practice and I didn’t follow her. I couldn’t justify the additional expense. And the new, new doc was absolutely honky dory with the meds I was taking. So all was well in the world again.

Until. It. Stopped. Working.

So I’m experimenting again. Trying different doses. And different meds.

And I’m really tired.

The point of this post? Honestly, I guess I just needed to vent. Or whine might be a better term. Poor Andrew must be sick and tired of hearing it. Oh and speaking of Andrew? His sleep is totally wrecked when I’m like this. I mean, can you imagine sharing a bed with a cranky, awake, tired person who can’t seem to find a comfortable position?

I guess I’m going to have to start getting up again when I can’t stay asleep so at least one of us can be well-rested.

Maybe I’ll finally get those photo albums organized.

Full disclosure: that is not my bed. Isn’t it nice though? I particulary like the photo of the bed above the bed. It’s from Stock Exchange. Great stuff to be found there.

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4 thoughts on “I’m really tired.

  1. I’m currently in a sleep phase of my “lifetime” of insomnia. I think that for most of my life, I didn’t get how good one feels with a full 7 hours of sleep night after night. Now that I’m experiencing it, I hope it never goes away; but I imagine it will.

    You have my utmost sympathy; I’ve been there, weepy from exhaustion, but still awake, reading and trying every tip. Come over here. I’ll try to rock you to sleep, let’s see if that works.

    (I love that idea of the photo of the bed over the photo too.)

  2. I don’t have any helpful words except to agree that it completely sucks! I hope you find something that works sometime soon. In the meantime, perhaps you could try naps?

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