Some days are better than others.

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I have three happy boys.

Well, most of the time, that is.

Each manages his school work, schedule, and responsibilities. Of course, we’re here to help, but we rarely get asked. In fact, just yesterday a friend asked me what my eldest was doing in math class and I sheepishly answered, “I don’t know.” (He is finishing the quarter with an A, though.) At any rate,

I am not a micro-manager.

I think my job is to teach my guys to handle their workload, manage their time, have fun, be part of the community, and to be a vital, integral part of the family. And by all accounts, I was doing quite well.

Until.

Two nights ago, one son cried himself to sleep after procrastinating on a long-term project. He finished it, but couldn’t get to his English homework. I hugged him and loved him and let him cry. The next morning, he woke himself up an hour early and finished his English homework. And he left for school singing.

It wasn’t easy, but I knew I’d done right by him.

Fast forward to right this minute.

A different son is sitting at the computer crying. Crying might be an exaggeration. Whimpering might be a better word. Yeah, that’s it. Whimpering.

He had 30 profiles to do for science. He was given the assignment weeks ago. He rushed home the day it was assigned and did five. Or ten. Not sure. But still lots more to do.

Every nice afternoon, he make the conscious decision to put it off. I (kindly) suggested that he do several a day because those things can pile up and bite you in the… (I did NOT say that. But thought it for sure.)

So today. He had his snack. Did his math homework. And then realized that the 22 profiles that were not complete are due on Monday. And tonight is the last school night in that equation. (There’s no school on Friday due to the end of the marking period.) So if it’s not finished tonight, he has to do it on a “weekend” night.

Well, that just plain sucks.

But you know what? That’s how it is. And though I want to hug him up and tell him that I’ll help him, I won’t.

He got himself into this *knowingly* and he’ll get out of it.

But I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not.

I just hope that this truly is a learning opportunity for him. I sure don’t want to do this again.

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5 thoughts on “Some days are better than others.

  1. oh man have I been there. Throw in a computer crash and a lost Word doc and you have the recipe for ‘oh crap, procrastination can surely bite you in the…”

    hang tough, Wen, you are doing the right thing, even if it hurts to watch.

  2. Good for you.

    That is absolutely, definitely the right thing to do.

    I, too, am the parent who often does not know what my kids are working on, unless the come to me specifically for help or with a question. Or to show me something they are proud of or excited about.

    And that, to me, is KEY. Something THEY are excited about or proud of. That THEY did. That THEY figured out or accomplished.

    Even my seven year old comes in, has snack, plays outside and then starts on his homework with little direction from me. He has his days, of course, and I do much more overseeing with him than the older ones but he is on the right road.

    Very long winded way to say you are doing the right thing by him. He’s learning a lot from this.

  3. That’s a tough call And life’s little lessons sure can suck sometimes. Hopefully, this will build a bit of self-knowledge and a whole lot of strength.
    They know that you will always catch them if they fall too hard or far.

  4. Even if it feels hard, you’re doing the right thing. . It’s better to learn now while the consequences are mild than to believe someone is going to step in and save him when he has a mortgage, car payments, or worse yet, his own family.
    Hang in there and praise him when he’s done. 🙂

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