Drifting.

credit: Billyruth03
credit: Billyruth03
Sometimes we drift apart. Or at least we used to.

I’m not talking about friend breakups. Nothing momentous. But sometimes, there just isn’t as much to talk about. There isn’t enough in common to choose to spend time together.

It’s not dislike. It’s just not priority.

And back in a time before Facebook, there’d be a natural, easy shift. And while it was sometimes a little sad to wistfully think about old times, the reality was that the connection was just not that strong.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t unfriend people unless there’s a real dislike or reason to. It just feels hurtful to me.

Maybe it doesn’t to you. But to me, it does.

And drifting is different from severing.

So in our times, what happens? There are loose ties and awkward peeks into casual or even more – lost – friends’ lives.

What does this say about us? That our communities keeps getting bigger as no one ever leaves the circles but rather move to more peripheral circles as relationships shift and priorities change?

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6 thoughts on “Drifting.

  1. I actually deleted my Facebook account last week because I dislike how it’s actually redefining relationships. I want my relationships and communication to be more complicated than they need be to fit in a couple of spheres, you know? So I walked away, and although it’s a little weird, I’m glad for it.

    I miss having individual connections with friends, and not feeling bad about those whether we wrote once a week, month or even decade.

  2. I think about this a lot and I keep coming back to how much I prefer friendships (and acquaintances) in person. Yet, I cannot seem to stop social media because the people that make it worthwhile for me are the same that I cannot see in person often (or at all).

    The other thing that complicates things is that I am not sure that my online self is an accurate reflection of who I am – it is the reflection of me when I am either escaping or searching for something that is not available to me in person. I am not certain how to do this online/offline thing effectively.

  3. Last year I made a conscious effort to reconnect with friends I wished I had stayed touch with. Sad to say it was harder than I thought. I enjoy FB for the friends who are scattered all over the world. But if I can’t seem to see someone in person that leaves 30 minutes away even once a year, I wonder what the point is? We get busy with family and work and our personal circles sometimes get less attention than they deserve. I rarely unfriend but I look less and chat less on so many that maybe I should. But….it is kind of fun to voyeur over occasionally : ) I also cleaned up what blogs I read last year but Finding Blanche always has these great “pondering” posts so you are a KEEPER!

    1. Thanks, Jodie. I feel your pain – isn’t it nutty that it’s so difficult to see people? Sure we’re all busy. But there really is no substitute for human contact. BTW, I’m guilty of looking less/chatting less also. I also admit that there are people who I’ve known IRL years ago that I’ve become closer to and truly appreciate because of online. So there’s the flip side, I guess. I appreciate that you still read the blog!

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