Let’s talk toothpaste.

Toothpaste
I brush my teeth three times a day.

I floss every day. I use a proxy brush. I use those soft pick things.

One might say I’m a little obsessive about my dental hygiene. And for those of you thinking that I’m obsessive about a lot of things, don’t judge me!

So here’s the thing, I hate my toothpaste. While it works fine and tastes great, the lid doesn’t close right and it solidifies in like five seconds. So every time I go to use it, it won’t squeeze out because all those dried up disgusting toothpaste chunks are clogging the tube.

The end of the proxy brush can be used to open the hole back up. But often, the hard piece goes flying across the room. Sometimes, that works. But sometimes, it works just a little and I just can’t get enough toothpaste squeezed out and I end up using less than the optimal amount. It’s just so frustrating.

This never goes away. Never.

It’s not as if I can stop brushing my teeth!! (Yes, I used two exclamation marks. This is serious shit.)

Did I mention that we have a lot of this stuff? Yes, and that’s because we got it from Costco in the handy family pack.

Every day, I think about running to Walgreens and buying a different kind. I really should. What’s a tube of toothpaste cost? Three bucks?

Maybe tomorrow, I will.*

And speaking of teeth, I broke a tooth last week and had it fixed this morning. Without Novocain. That might sound horrible to you, but I am so happy! Yes, it hurt for a few minutes. But, nothing is worse than that horrible needle and being numb for hours and hours. And that ache. At any rate, I’m very proud of my dentist for appeasing me. She didn’t want to. In fact, she’s argued with me for years about this because she didn’t want to hurt me. But today, she gave in and I think she was pleasantly surprised (or shocked!) that it was really fine.

*Do you think that I can donate all the unopened toothpaste somewhere? Or do you think they’ll hate it, too? It doesn’t feel particularly charitable to donate toothpaste that dries up and aggravates a person!

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3 thoughts on “Let’s talk toothpaste.

  1. LOL! Love this post! Costco will take anything back so long as there’s 50% or more of it left–and only has time limits to electronics…you can also Freecycle them–I heard great friendships have been made that way πŸ˜‰
    And I am ashamed to admit I don’t floss. Except if my dentist reads this. Then I floss twice a day.

    1. You’re so funny. I won’t tell (who’s your dentist?)….
      I love Freecycle – the start of a wonderful friendship!
      Thanks for the Costco info – you know all about this returning stuff – I returned that Alta spray.

      1. LOL–the irony is I never return things, I always feel bad πŸ™‚ Hope you find a good spray that works for you! I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful blog post about it some day!!

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